The Memories
by charrrr
Summary: Sequel to 'The Exception'. "He was grateful for the second chance, yes, and he wasn't going to give up on Alec… But Magnus just needed some time to wrap his head around the fact his boyfriend couldn't remember falling in love with him." After a bad car accident, Alec suffers from amnesia and forgets five years of his life... Can he and Magnus ever rebuild their relationship?
1. Chapter 1

**Here it is, the first chapter of the sequel, yay! **

**This is set about five years after the end of 'The Exception'.**

* * *

People take memories for granted. Every moment of your life is special, whether it feels like it or not. Bad times and happy times, loving times and sad times; they all have the same outcome - they are all things that you remember. They stick with you and are there for you to look back on whenever you're having 'one of them days'. It's easy and simple. The ability to recall your past memories is something you've had your entire life, that you haven't put much thought into really, because it's always been there. Like your heart, for example: how many times have you actually thought about the process of which it goes through just to keep on beating, therefore keeping you alive? You don't think about it very often, do you? That's because it's just _there_, just like it always has been.

Memories are important. They let you reflect on your past, on the things that made you, _you_.

So what happens if the part of your brain that holds your memories, just doesn't want to co-operate with the rest of your brain? What if you simply forget a section of life? In that time, you may have become an entirely different person, but you can't remember that because your memories are gone.

Memories are simple, but the complex of them are complicated.

People shouldn't take memories for granted… But they do.

* * *

Magnus would always remember that dreaded phone call he had received two weeks ago.

He had just got home from a long, tiring day at work and collapsed onto the sofa, turning on the TV to watch some aimless, predictable, family sitcom. After an hour, he started to wonder where Alec was considering he was usually home from work himself by now, and prayed that Alec hadn't made the decision to not come home so the couple could talk about the night before.

And that's when his phone began to ring. It was Isabelle. She informed Magnus that Alec had been in a bad car accident. She didn't know much because nobody was telling her anything, but Alec was in surgery and was apparently in bad shape.

Magnus had rushed to the hospital as quickly as he could, ironically driving like a maniac and nearly causing three road accidents despite the fact his boyfriend had just been in one himself.

Alec was in a coma. The doctors weren't sure if he was going to make it because of a bad head injury.

As soon as he heard those words, Magnus' entire world just crumbled around him.

* * *

Now, two weeks later, Magnus was knackered. He had divided his time between going to his dance studio and making sure his employees were running everything smoothly without him; going to the hospital and sitting by Alec's bedside, praying for him to wake up and be okay; taking care of his own health so he was actually able to do all of this rushing around.

He'd just got out of the shower when he received a text from Isabelle:

_Alec's awake. Sitting up and talking, thank God. There's something wrong though, but I think it'd be best if you heard it in person, not through a text. Izzy x_

And that's how Magnus found himself running up the stairs to the fifth floor in the hospital - he had been too impatient to wait for the elevator to arrive - not caring that he was pushing people aside rudely if they got in his way. He was flustered and emotional, desperate to get to Alec as soon as he could.

When he finally got to the fifth floor, he only gave the friendly nurses a small glance and a nod of acknowledgment. They all knew who he was of course, considering he was here the majority of the day and he usually stopped to talk to them for a bit, but he just wasn't in the mood to today. He stopped outside Alec's door and hesitated for only a moment. He could hear Isabelle's loud voice and a familiar, deep hushed voice; a voice he hadn't heard for what felt like forever.

He knocked twice before entering.

The sight before him was stunning, breath-taking, amazing, beautiful, heart-stopping, lovely, splendid, remarkable, astounding… He could go on forever describing how great of a feeling it was to see Alec sat up in bed, awake, those sweet, bright blue eyes looking up at him in wonder. Magnus had imagined this moment so many times before, but this… This was far better. He had imagined himself blurting out to Alec just how much he loved him, how sorry he was for the argument the night before the accident, how he couldn't wait for him to come home so they could continue their lives together. But now that the moment had finally come, all he could whisper, was, "Alexander."

"Hey, Magnus," Alec replied in a croaky voice, a small smile on his face.

Magnus moved over to sit on the edge of the bed - momentarily forgetting Isabelle, who was sat in the chair on the other side of the bed - and took hold of Alec's hand, happy tears filling his eyes. "It's so good to see you awake," he said. "It's been so weird not having you there for me to talk to, I hated it. Alec, oh my god. Alec, I lo-"

"Magnus," Isabelle interrupted him, causing him to look over at his boyfriend's sister. Alec pulled his hand out of Magnus' grip as he did so. "There's something you should know."

"What?" Magnus asked impatiently. All he wanted was time alone with Alec, to hold him and talk to him, to revel in this precious moment of his boyfriend being awake, alive and well.

"When Alec woke up," she said, a nervous edge to her voice. "The doctor ran all the tests to make sure he was okay. And he is; he's completely recovered, apparently. Apart from one thing… They asked Alec the routine things they ask coma patients that wake up - name, year, etc. And it made them come to realize that Alec has amnesia. Memory loss. And they don't know if them memories will ever come back to him."

"Apparently," Alec said, with a regretful sigh. "I've forgotten five years of my damn life. It's not fair."

Magnus froze as the words registered in his mind.

Five years.

A lot had changed in Alec's life in five years, things which Magnus certainly wasn't looking to Alec finding out, simply because he couldn't stand to see his boyfriend get upset over those things again. But the one thing that stood out in Magnus' mind about the past five years was: he and Alec had officially become a couple again.

If Alec had forgotten five years of his life, that meant that in his mind, he and Magnus were still _just friends_. He wouldn't remember them building their friendship again until the point where they were closer than they had been when they were younger. He wouldn't remember the day they decided to give a relationship another go. He wouldn't remember the first night they made love to each other. He wouldn't remember the day they moved in together, the good times they had, the day they finally - after a long time of avoiding the words - said 'I love you' to each other.

He wouldn't remember any of those things and it pained Magnus greatly to think about that and how in his mind, Alec wasn't completely comfortable with being close to Magnus because of the events of high school, which felt recent to Alec.

Magnus refused to believe that all those memories wouldn't come to Alec. He had to remember them, didn't he? He couldn't just never remember five entire years of his life, that was absurd! To quote Alec: "It's not fair."

It was the sort of drama in a relationship you might see in the movies, not in real life. Magnus could barely comprehend it all; he couldn't imagine what was going to happen now…

But despite all of this, there was one good thing Magnus could find in it all: Alec would forget the argument they had the night before the accident, the argument which caused Alec to storm out of the house and spend the night at Jace's. Magnus had been scared of Alec coming home after work the next day because he knew they'd have to talk about the argument and he had been scared it wouldn't go well and they'd split up.

Alec couldn't remember any of that.

It was like the universe was giving Magnus a second chance with Alec. A second chance to prove that they were made for each other, that he was worthy of Alec's love; that he was sorry for the things that were said and didn't mean any of them.

And he decided right then that he was going to help Alec recover the memories of the good times they spent together.

And he was going to make Alec fall in love with him again.

He was suddenly aware of Isabelle calling his name and looked back at her, saying, "yeah?"

"You zoned out. Look, I know this is really bad, but we can't think about that right now. Alec's awake and he's going to be fine," she smiled. "That's what we need to focus on."

"Yeah," Magnus nodded. He turned back to look at Alec and forced a smile onto his face. "So, what's the last thing you remember?"

Alec thought about this for a moment before answering. "It was the day you and I made up and agreed to be friends again. Just friends. I went home, did my homework, had a talk with Izzy, then went to bed. That's it. I don't remember waking up or anything after that."

"Right. Okay. That's… I guess that's a start… I'm sorry, Alec. I just- I need to go." Without another word, he got up and left the room, yet again choosing the stairs over the elevator.

He was grateful for the second chance, yes, and he wasn't going to give up on Alec… But Magnus just needed some time to wrap his head around the fact his boyfriend couldn't remember falling in love with him.

* * *

**Obviously, everything about the past five years will be revealed in future chapters. Hope you liked it, please leave reviews! xo**


	2. Chapter 2

Alec hated hospitals. He hated that nurses and doctors just walked into his room without knocking, therefore not giving him any privacy whatsoever. He hated the incessant beeping from the machines near him, the noise of people talking loudly and moving around in the corridor beyond his door. He hated the sterile smell that clung to his senses, making him feel nauseous.

He couldn't wait to get out of the place.

Two days had passed since he woke up, and he only had Isabelle and Jace visiting him. Magnus didn't return and whenever Alec asked where the rest of his family were, his brother and sister were reluctant to tell him and always changed the subject. He knew that his parents and Max weren't dead - Jace and Izzy certainly would have told him if they were - so he found himself even more curious about the past five years and why they wouldn't be visiting him.

Isabelle and Jace had told Alec a fair few things about his life now: he had just celebrated his twenty-third birthday and for once managed to get Magnus to not organize an over-the-top party (instead, he had a meal at a fancy restaurant with Magnus, Izzy, Simon, Jace, Clary and Izzy's boyfriend, Will); he was an author and apparently had had three best-selling novels already and was currently working on his fourth; he often ran marathons to raise money for charity and had recently managed to get Izzy to run one with him after years of begging… And he was dating, and living with, Magnus Bane.

Hearing that he was in a relationship with Magnus made Alec feel a number of emotions. He felt happy and relieved that things had gone right for them, that their new friendship had developed into something more just like they had hoped for. But he also felt apprehensive and nervous - to him, they had only just become friends again so he was finding it hard to imagine dating him. Would Magnus expect things to go back to how they were supposed to have been before the accident? Alec wasn't sure if he was ready for that- ready to jump into a relationship so quickly. Yes, he had apparently been dating Magnus for nearly four years now, but that wasn't what it felt like to him.

Alec sighed and decided not to think about this anymore. It was something that he'd have to talk to Magnus about if he wanted answers. Jace was at work and Alec had told Isabelle to go home and get some rest, so Alec was currently alone which he didn't mind one bit. He had just got back into the book he was reading - which was actually one of his own books, and he found himself being amazed that he had written something so good - when there was a knock on his door. Subsequently, it creaked open and Magnus entered the room.

He looked like hell. Unlike two days ago, Magnus had no make-up on, so Alec could see just how tired and worn-out Magnus looked, and by the looks of the red marks around his eyes, he had been crying quite a lot recently. Despite this however, his bright green eyes were alert and a smile grew on his face when he saw Alec. He walked over and sat in the chair next to Alec's bed. "Hey," he said. "I'm sorry that I haven't been here for you… It was just a lot for me to take in. I'm not leaving you for so long again, don't worry."

"It's fine, I understood that you needed time to wrap your head around it all…Isabelle said we're dating," Alec stated.

"We are," Magnus nodded.

"Were we happy together?" Alec asked; Magnus nodded again. "I suppose that explains why you seemed so broken up about my memory loss. I'm sorry I can't remember us being together."

"It's not your fault," he smiled weakly.

"I'm guessing this means you don't want anything to do with me now?"

"What? No! Alec, no," he shook his head, eyes wild. "Why would you think that? I'm not going to leave your life just because you can't remember us dating."

"But Magnus, I don't want to be in a relationship with you… It's like it was just yesterday to me that we decided to be friends and I was beginning to forgive you for everything and starting to trust you again…"

Magnus looked devastated but he didn't back down. "Then we'll just be friends for now. We'll rebuild our friendship for your sake - we've done it before, we can do it again. I want to help you get your memories back, Alec."

"They might never come back," he said gently.

"We've got to at least try."

Alec looked at the seriousness in Magnus' eyes and the ways his brows were slightly furrowed, his mouth turned up at one end into a half-smile, and couldn't help himself from smiling back. It felt so nice to be close to Magnus again without the constant reminder of the bet hanging between them, and he was genuinely glad that they had managed to get over that in the years that had seemed to have passed without Alec.

He had no doubts in his mind at all about Magnus' determination to help get Alec's memories back, and he hoped with all of his being that the memories would come back; not just for his sake, but for Magnus'. This situation was taking it's toll on Magnus as well, he was hurting, that much was clear, and Alec didn't want to disappoint him and ruin his hopes by not remembering anything.

* * *

Ever since the accident, Isabelle Lightwood hadn't had a good night's sleep. She had either stayed overnight at the hospital - her, Jace and Magnus had alternated nights so Alec was never alone - and hadn't been comfortable in the hospital chair, or she had been too worried and stressed out about her brother's condition to be able to sleep properly in her apartment.

When Alec ordered her to go home, she had intended to go to sleep. But yet again she had been unable to because her mind was full of thoughts whirring around like a machine - instead of being about Alec's condition however, they were about her parents. Realising that she wasn't going to be sleeping anytime soon, she jumped out of bed and went into her living room, grabbing her mobile off the coffee table and angrily dialling her mother's number.

"Hello?" Mayrse Lightwood had a posh voice, intensified over the phone, that used to intimidate Isabelle at times, but no longer did. The mother and daughter had never had a _really_ close relationship, but over the past four and a half years, they had grown apart even more. Now, they only talked on special occasions. Of course, they had talked recently about Alec's accident, but that was a one-off exception and Isabelle didn't plan on phoning or texting her mum every day ever again. "Isabelle, are you there?"

"Yeah." She didn't know what else to say.

"Okay… Well, is something the matter?"

"Where are you, dad and Max right now?" She asked sceptically.

"New York," her mother replied. "We'll be back in London in a few days considering Max will be going back to school and the holidays will be over. Why are you asking?"

"That's ridiculous!" Isabelle exclaimed. "Your son was in a coma, and you go to a different country instead of staying here to make sure he's okay! Are you heartless? He was asking about you today, mum. He was wondering where you were. I didn't have the guts to tell him that you disowned him because he's gay."

"I haven't disowned him," Mayrse snapped, annoyance clear in her tone of voice. "Even after all these years, I don't know how to react to him being gay. Alec is my son, and I love him, but I was brought up to be quite old-fashioned and traditional, as was your father, and that just isn't the sort of lifestyle we imagined for our son. We haven't disowned Alec at all, Isabelle, don't say that."

"You actually disgust me. It's not a lifestyle mum, it's who he is! He's still the Alec you knew, he just likes guys instead of girls. Anyway, we've had this conversation before, I don't want to get into all of this again," she sighed impatiently, pacing back and forth across the room to try and get rid of her anger. "I was just calling to see if you were planning on visiting him, or even just calling to make sure he was okay."

"Yes, I was," Mayrse replied, although Isabelle was pretty sure she was lying. "I didn't call to see how he was because you've been letting me know without me having to ask. I didn't visit him in hospital because it would have been too hard for me to see him like that! When we get back, we'll have the whole family over for a meal, okay? You can bring Will, Jace can bring Clary."

"What about Alec? Can he bring Magnus?" Isabelle raised her eyebrows, challenging her mother. Magnus was like a second son to Mayrse when he was younger, and even when it was evident that he was gay from the tight clothes, the make-up and his reputation, she didn't have a problem with him and his sexuality because he wasn't actually her son. As soon as he started dating Alec however, Mayrse took a disliking to him and hated to see him and Alec together. She always looked uncomfortable around the couple, and Isabelle guessed that a part of Mayrse wanted to accuse Magnus of changing her son. She was just so straight-forward and hated change; when something _did_ change, it took her a while to fully accept it. Hence why after all these years, she still didn't completely accept Alec for who he was.

"Yes, okay, Magnus can come too," Mayrse said reluctantly, her sigh loud through the speaker. "Now, I'm sorry, but I have to go, I have work to do. Goodbye, Isabelle."

"Bye mum," she hung up quickly.

Despite knowing that the meal would be absolutely, inevitably awkward and miserable, she was proud of herself for standing up to her mother and not feeling the slightest bit guilty for telling her that she was disgusted by her. She sent a text to Magnus - whom she was practically best friends with these days - giving him a brief recap of the phone call, knowing that he was just as annoyed by Mayrse's attitude as she was.

Following that, she finally felt relaxed and her mind was calm of thoughts. She went back to bed, falling asleep in just seconds, finally able to have a good night's sleep.

* * *

**Thank you for the positive reviews on the first chapter. I'm so excited for you all to see the story developing & for you to find out about the past five years at the same time as Alec does near enough :-)**

**I hope you liked this chapter.**

**A question: Does anybody know how old Max was in the TMI books? He'll be making an appearance soon, and so I was wondering how old he was in the books, so then in this story he'll be five years older. I imagined him as being ten/eleven but I'm not sure if that's correct? Thanks to anyone that tells me the answer :-)**

**xo**


	3. Chapter 3

**Ohmygod, it's been so long since I updated, I'm so sorry. I was having problems with my computer and internet, so I got frustrated and just gave up on it all for a bit. I'm back now though, and back to regular updating, woo.**

**Okay, so this chapter isn't really eventful, but I think it's kind of necessary. It shows a big step for Alec since the memory loss, and it lets us see a little bit into their old usual lives, and another glimpse at how this is affecting the pair of them.  
**

**Sorry if there's any mistakes, I only proof-read it once, normally I do it twice and pick out loads of errors, but yeah. I'll shut up now and let you read. Please don't hate me for being away for so long. xo  
**

* * *

Alec was relieved to finally be leaving the hospital after spending a gruelling week and a half there until the doctors were absolutely positive that he had no lasting injuries, other than the memory loss. At first, his happiness outweighed everything else and he found himself actually being able to stand everything he hated ab0ut hospitals, simply because he knew it would be over soon.

But then the conversation about where he would go came up… Alec cautiously informed the others that he wasn't sure he'd feel entirely at ease going back to his and Magnus' apartment because, well, the thought of living with somebody whom he couldn't remember being in a relationship with, terrified him. Jace had invited him to stay with him and Clary, and Izzy had said he could stay at her apartment, but Magnus had been adamant that Alec should go home with him, because being in his old home might trigger some memories. Alec had grudgingly agreed, although deep down he was still scared of how awkward it would be for them both.

The ride to the apartment was spent in silence for the most part. Magnus' car was beautiful - a white, convertible Lexus - but even with the top down, the air felt stuffy and suffocating. Magnus was the first to break the silence.

"Our apartment is right in the middle of the city. It's just down the road from my dance studio, which is the main reason we bought it. I wanted to decorate it in bright, lavish colours, but you wouldn't let me. We had arguments about that, but in the end you won and got your own way."

"Oh. What's it like, then? Is it nice?" Alec replied, stumbling on his words.

"You'll see." Magnus turned his head slightly to flash Alec a wide smile before looking back out at the road ahead of him.

The next ten minutes were spent in silence again as they finally approached the apartment building they lived in: a tall, glorious building with huge windows and a black structure that stood out amongst the simpler, smaller buildings surrounding it.

The couple entered the lobby, which was decorated with red and gold furnishings, and were welcomed by a young, handsome male receptionist. "Mr Bane, Mr Lightwood," he nodded at them. "Welcome back, Mr Lightwood. It's so good that you're doing well, sir."

"Th- thank you," Alec stammered quietly, feeling like he was being scrutinized under the man's green-eyed stare. He returned the smile that was given to him and followed Magnus over to the elevator.

"That's Joshua," Magnus said, a bitter tone with just a hint of jealousy to his voice. "Ever since he started working here last year, he's been obsessed with you. I mean, I can't blame him really, you _are_ gorgeous," he winked, "but he flirts with you right in front of me all the time. Doesn't seem to understand that you're off the market."

Alec scoffed a laugh and said, "you're funny when you're jealous." He bumped his shoulder against Magnus' and laughed again when the other man frowned, clearly not enjoying being laughed at.

"Shut up," he said moodily, although a smile was playing at his lips as the elevator doors pinged open and they stepped inside.

As they glided up to their floor, Alec started taking long, deep breaths to calm the frantic racing of his heart that sounded like thunder to him in the anticipation-filled silence. He wasn't sure how Magnus was feeling at that moment, but he guessed he was feeling pretty much similar things: nervous excitement, fear, tension… All of the emotions were bundled up in one tight ball, clogged up inside of Alec and growing with the passing seconds as if taunting him and trying to force him to scream out in anguish.

He managed to rein the scream in however, and remained silent as they stepped out of the lift and into a corridor decorated similarly to the lobby. Two doors down the left side of the lift, they stopped. Magnus pulled out a key, unlocked and opened the door, stepped back and gestured for Alec to go inside. "Welcome home," he said gently. "Go on in."

Alec took a few slow steps inside the apartment and stared wide-eyed around the room. He was vaguely aware of Magnus locking the door behind them and standing close to Alec's back, but he couldn't focus on that; instead, he was focusing on what was his home. _It's _my _home, _he thought, stunned. _I actually live here!_

It was simple and modern, yet perfectly decorated, the type of place that left people green with envy and wishing they lived somewhere like there.

The entire left-side wall was made of thick glass, the windows giving a view of the busy city of London. The other walls were painted white, making the room bright, adding extra light to the sunlight streaming through the window, making everything seem more open. The floor was a dark mahogany laminate flooring, matching the mantelpiece of the old-fashioned coal fire and the large bookcase leaning against a section of the wall. A large, flat screen plasma TV faced a set of black leather sofas and a glass coffee table, along with a stereo system next to the TV cabinet. From where he stood, Alec could see that the kitchen - which was separated from the living room by an archway in the wall - had silver, black and white cupboards and counters, along with the essentials.

"We really live here?" He gasped, staring at Magnus with eyes as big as an owl's. "I always wanted to have a place like this…"

"I know," Magnus nodded, "that's why I finally gave in and agreed not to decorate it with a lot of bright colours. Come on, I'll give you a tour of the rest of the place." He frowned a little; Alec guessed that it was probably just because it was strange for him to say that when he and Alec had been living here together for a while now.

Magnus showed Alec two bedrooms and a bathroom, both of which looked like rooms for guests with their plain colours and accessories; a sort of hotel-feel to them. The final room he showed him was a third bedroom, completely different to the other rooms.

"This is our bedroom," Magnus said as they stood in the doorway. "There's an en-suite bathroom through that door."

Like the rest of the apartment, it had white walls and dark flooring. The huge bed was clearly the focal point of the room, positioned in the middle of the room. The duvet was a luscious red and there was an array of cushions - far too many to count by just standing there looking at them - in the colours: white, black, and dark blue. Alec had the sudden urge to act like a child and run over and just collapse on top of it; it really did look _that_ cosy.

But then, as he looked sideways and saw Magnus watching him look at the bed, he gulped and forced words to come out of his mouth. "I'm not comfortable with us sleeping together."

Magnus' eyes had a forlorn, desperately sad expression in them for just a glimmer of a second - anybody else wouldn't have seen the look seeing as he quickly masked it into a calm one, but Alec had always been able to see Magnus' true emotions and it unsettled him to know he had caused the look. But he had meant what he said and he wasn't going to take the words back just because he felt guilty; he had to put his own feelings first occasionally, and today was definitely one of those days.

"I understand. I'll sleep in one of the guest rooms for now, it's fine." He looked at the diamond-studded watch on his wrist. "It's still only 5pm… Do you wanna order a pizza and watch a movie or something? Just for something to do. And I'm sure you're starving after having to eat that horrible hospital food…"

"Okay," Alec shrugged. "That sounds… Normal. And normal is something I need right now."

(line break)

Magnus hadn't even thought about the sleeping situation until Alec brought it up, as bad as that sounds. Out of habit and routine, he had thought about sleeping in the same bed as Alec, completely forgetting about the memory loss every time he did so, if he was being completely honest.

Laid in one of the guest bedrooms that night, he was at first surprised that he couldn't sleep properly, despite feeling extremely tired. The only reason he'd been sleeping bad recently had been because he was worried about Alec, so he thought sleep would come easy now that Alec was out of hospital and perfectly healthy.

It didn't take long for Magnus to realise why he wasn't sleeping properly tonight.

He missed Alec.

_His_ Alec. The Alec that was madly in love with Magnus; spent his spare time on his laptop, typing away as he lost himself in writing a novel; the Alec that had been happy and carefree ever since he'd got over the pain of his parents disliking his sexuality; watched 'Britain and Ireland's Next Top Model' just because Magnus did, and always complained about it although it was obvious he actually enjoyed the show.

Magnus knew that it was the same Alec in the other room; he was just confused from his amnesia… But it felt like it was a different Alec at the moment. The old Alec that Magnus hadn't seen in years. The Alec that was shy and unwilling to just let go and have fun; seeking his parents' approval for almost anything; the Alec that was scared of being himself because of how others might judge him.

Of course Magnus still loved Alec - how could he not? - but it still felt like it was a long-lost friend he was now living with, not the boyfriend that he adored.

Alec could never fall asleep whilst cuddling. Instead, he curled up on his side in the foetal position and drifted off into the land of dreams with slow, quiet breaths. Just a few minutes later, he'd roll over to Magnus' side of the bed and would cling on to his boyfriend's waist with an arm, throwing a leg over Magnus' as if caging him in and saying 'you're mine, don't even think about going anywhere', and resting his head on Magnus' bare chest.

Magnus would love the feel of Alec's soft hair against his chest and would wrap his arms tightly around his boyfriend, listening to Alec's gentle breathing as if it were a lullaby.

He missed being able to hold Alec at night.

He missed _his_ Alec, the one that didn't have amnesia.

Without warning, a tear slid down Magnus' cheek. And then another. And another. And another. He buried his head in the cushions - which smelt of lavender air freshener, not the sandalwood shampoo he and Alec both used that now scented the cushions in the main bedroom - and silently wept.

He cried for the fact he was sleeping alone. He cried for the argument they had the night before the accident. He cried for all the times he hadn't realised just how lucky he was to have Alec. He cried for Alec, who seemed more lost and vulnerable than he ever had before.

But all in all, he cried for the relationship that seemed doomed to never have a happy ending.


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning, Alec showered, brushed his teeth, and dressed almost mechanically, step-by-step. For some unknown reason that baffled him, he hadn't been able to sleep much last night, despite being tired after spending what seemed like forever in that uncomfortable hospital bed. He had woken up countless times during the night, reaching out his arms to grab hold of… Something. He wasn't sure what and that bugged the hell out of him.

He padded barefoot into the kitchen, his belly rumbling loudly. He then realised that he had absolutely no idea where things were in here… After some rooting around, he had a bowl, spoon and milk out on the counter but couldn't find the cereal - his preferred breakfast had been cereal his whole life. He opened another cupboard to find cups and wine glasses, and frowned. This place was too damn big. How was he supposed to find anything in here?

"Three cupboards to the left." Magnus' voice startled Alec, but he didn't turn around, choosing instead to follow Magnus' instructions. They had a selection of different cereals, and Alec pulled out his favourite, mumbling a thanks to Magnus before filling the bowl, adding milk and eating a mouthful, savouring the taste.

He turned around while he chewed and took in the sight of Magnus, whom apparently hadn't changed at all over the years, and despite the time, looked like he hadn't aged at all. He still wore his dark eyeliner and glittery eye shadow, his sparkly tops and extra-tight skinny jeans paired with some boots. He sure was a sight to behold.

"So um," Alec broke the silence, "what do I usually do during the day?"

Magnus shrugged. "Mostly just stay here and write, really. You were writing the fourth book in a series, I don't know if you're going to continue with that now…"

"I want to," he nodded. "I read the first one in hospital. I guess I have to read the second and third, then see how much progress I've made with the fourth."

"Well you never let me read it until it's finished, but I'm pretty sure you have everything on your Mac which is in the bedroom."

"Is that all I do? Stay in and write? I was thinking that I should try and do everything I used to, see if keeping to the same routine will trigger some memories…"

"That sounds like a good idea." Magnus smiled and sat down on a bar stool. Alec sat across from him. "Hmm, let me think… Sometimes you'd go out to different places and write for inspiration. Your book's set in America so you've gone there a few times for research. On the days that I'm down at the studio, you make us both a lunch and we sit in my office and eat together. Other than that, it depends what you have on your schedule - marathon training if one's coming up, charity work, getting ready for some event. Sometimes your agent sends you manuscripts of new books to read so you can give a review just before it's published."

"Huh. Right, okay. I guess I'll read my book today then," Alec decided. Truthfully, he was happy with how his life had turned out. Writing had been something he had always loved to do, but he'd never had much confidence in it so he never imagined that he'd actually make a career out of it. "Sounds weird to say that," he chuckled. "I was always too scared to show anybody my writing. How the hell did I get a book published?"

Magnus blushed and laughed, slightly awkwardly. "Well, I was in your room and kind of read the first book you wrote without you knowing. You were pretty angry at me for it, didn't speak to me for days. Then I went behind your back and sent it to a publishing agency. You forgave me when they sent you a letter saying they loved it and wanted to publish it."

"Oh. Well, I guess I have to say thank you then," Alec replied with a smile. "I don't think I would have ever had the guts to send my work to an agency if you hadn't done that."

"You've already said thank you countless times before," Magnus pointed out in a calm, patient tone. "But, you're welcome. Listen… I need to go down to the studio to take care of a few things, and I might be there all day, depending on how things turn out. But if you want me to stay, I can put things off for another day…"

Alec rolled his eyes. "Magnus, I've lost my memory, I'm not dying. I can handle a day on my own."

"I know," he sighed. "I just… Worry about you, that's all. I charged your phone for you, it's in the living room. I'm on speed dial - number one. Call me if you need anything, okay?" Alec nodded, sighing himself at Magnus' unnecessary worry. "Promise me," Magnus insisted, his voice now gentle but pained. "Call me if you need anything. Even if it's just to know where something is. _Promise me_."

"Okay, okay," Alec replied quickly. "I promise."

"You don't understand why I worry about you so much, do you?" Magnus raised his eyebrows, an amused smirk - that made Alec get butterflies in his stomach as if he were a teenage girl - spreading across his face. "I just don't want to see you get hurt. After all these years, you still don't understand my worry." He chuckled. "Anyway, I should get going."

After saying goodbye, and reminding Alec of the promise he made just moments ago, Magnus left the apartment, leaving Alec sat at the breakfast counter, mindlessly eating his cereal. Unexpectedly, he had found that this morning hadn't actually been that bad and as awkward as he thought. In fact, he might go as far to say that he actually enjoyed having a normal conversation with Magnus that wasn't tainted by talk of their relationship.

* * *

That afternoon, Magnus paced back and forth in his office at the Bane Dance Company Studio, on the phone to yet another ratty dance mom. His office was large and spacious, with a red sofa at one end that was covered in glittery pillows, the rest of the room having a simple black and white theme. He leaned against the edge of his desk, and let out a frustrated sigh.

"Mrs Collins," he said into the phone, forcing himself to use a flat tone instead of shouting like he felt like doing. "You and your daughter both want her to do well in the dance industry, yes? Which is why you sent her to my company - it's the best one in London. If you're not happy with how I run things, then leave! Your daughter is an exceptional dancer, but she's easily replaceable, so it's up to you and her to put in the time and effort. If she doesn't like her instructor, I can easily move her to a different class."

"But you haven't even been there to oversee things-"

"Because I have a personal life as well!" He interrupted her. "I've had things to deal with in my own life, but that doesn't mean your daughter hasn't had a good education; my employees can handle things very well. Look, Mrs Collins, I sincerely hope you don't decide to leave the company, but I cannot make exceptions for your daughter as you have asked me to. Please feel free to call me back whenever you make your final decision."

He hung up the phone and moved to slouch into his chair, rubbing his eyes tiredly. All the crying last night and the lack of sleep had really taken its toll on him, causing his job to seem even more stressful than usual. He didn't even have longer than a minute to relax before his receptionist - an eighteen year old called Aline that had been employed while Alec was in the hospital - buzzed the intercom.

"Yeah, Aline?" He replied.

"I have an Alec Lightwood here to see you, sir. He doesn't have an appointment but… Well, is this _your_ Alec?" He could hear the excited curiosity in her voice and rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, he is," he replied smoothly. _He's mine, _he thought to himself with smug satisfaction. _Despite all of this, he's still _mine_. _"Send him in, it's fine."

A moment later, the door swung open and Magnus smiled. Alec walked in, wearing a typical Alec outfit: simple dark jeans, Converse, and a shirt. Alec had a habit of wearing black most of the time, but today he had opted for a blue shirt that matched those beautiful blue eyes of his. Magnus always loved just looking at Alec, marvelling in the fact that he was really his. And most recently, savouring the truth that Alec was okay and still with him in the world.

"Alexander, is something wrong?" Magnus asked as Alec sat in the chair on the other side of the desk. "Why didn't you just call me?" _Please say it's because your memory came back and you missed me, that you came here simply because you wanted to see me, _he hoped, knowing deep down that it was just too much to ask for.

"I brought you lunch," Alec said, an adorable rosy blush instantly covering his cheeks. "You said that's what I normally do when you're at the studio. I hope you don't mind…"

"Of course not," Magnus shook his head, quick to reassure his boyfriend. "We normally eat on the sofa."

"Okay." They went over to the sofa, angling their bodies so that they were sat facing each other. They ate in silence for a few minutes, eating the lunch Alec had prepared and brought in his over-the-shoulder Adidas bag, but the silence wasn't as uncomfortable as he knew it should have been considering the whole amnesia situation. "Maia called me about an hour ago, said that she couldn't get in touch with you."

"Oh, yeah? What did she say?"

"Just said she hoped I was feeling better," he shrugged. "She asked me to tell you to call her back to talk about her birthday party, nothing important."

"Ah, okay. Right, so is there anything else you want to know about yourself? Just ask; I'll answer anything."

By the time Alec left half an hour later, Magnus was disappointed. He'd told Alec little details about himself, nothing too major, but even those little habits and the like couldn't trigger any memories. Not even an insignificant memory of them eating a lunch together like they had done today. The doctor had said that he didn't know if Alec's memory would ever come back but if it did, they needed to have patience because it wouldn't just come back immediately. But wouldn't you still hope every second of the day that your boyfriend would remember you if you were in their situation?

As soon as he sat back down in his chair, his phone rang. _And now, back to work, _he thought with a miserable sigh.

* * *

**Sigh. I really struggled with that chapter so I hope it's not too bad :\**

**But you know what right? These reviews are awesome, thank you all so much! You're truly amazing.  
**

_alicelightwoodbane_**: Thank you! I have seen 'The Vow', yes! I loved it. I got the idea for this story from a book by Sophie Kinsella though, although I'm only taking the amnesia aspect from it, nothing else :-) Me too, they're certainly on their way to sorting things out though, they seem to be getting more at ease with each other! xx  
**

_HikariMelody_**: Thank you for the review. It actually inspired the first part of this chapter, where Alec is reaching out in the night to hold Magnus without even realising it, so thanks! xo  
**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you for all the great reviews on the last chapter, it means so much to me that you like my writing :-)**

**I'm actually pretty happy with this chapter (for once) so I hope you like it too. Please let me know :-)  
**

**Also, if you have any ideas of what you'd possibly like to see in the story, do let me know. I only have the major details in my head, the rest I make up as I go along. I'm not promising to use your idea, but if it does give me inspiration, I'll give you credit :-) xxx  
**

* * *

The rest of the week passed rather quickly, and the couple managed to get into a comfortable routine. Alec stayed at home working on his book while Magnus went down to his studio, then Alec went to the studio with lunch for the pair of them and they talked about whatever Alec wanted to know. When Magnus got home from work later that day, they'd watch a movie together after Magnus cooked tea.

Alec got the feeling that Magnus wanted something more - maybe something simple like cuddling while watching the movie, or a kiss goodbye as he left for work - but was glad that he wasn't pushing him into doing something he wasn't ready for. In Alec's mind, the pair were still just friends and, as embarrassed as he was to admit it, he still felt like a teenager because of the years he'd forgot, so the thought of being in a fully committed relationship whilst living together, scared the hell out of him. It felt like it was all moving far too fast, even though truthfully it wasn't and he knew that. His mind was just a complete mess.

Today was the day of the family meal his mum had organized, and Alec was nervous; he didn't know what to expect. Like Izzy had in the hospital, Magnus kept changing the subject whenever Alec asked about his parents. Alec had thought up tons of reasons why this was, but none of them ever felt right, so he was left wondering what was going on.

When Magnus told him Jace would be taking Clary, Alec was thrilled - his brother had always been a player so to hear that he'd actually stayed in a long-term relationship and settled down surprised him, but he was happy for Jace. He hadn't met Izzy's boyfriend, Will, yet - well he had, but he couldn't remember him - so he was looking forward to that, as well as seeing how Max had turned out over the years. His younger brother would be fourteen now and Alec couldn't even imagine him as a teenager.

Alec was glad to see that the family home was still the same one he used to live in; it was nice to see a familiar place for once. After Magnus parked the car in the empty driveway, Alec led him straight into the house, remembering the layout of the house like it was just yesterday he had been there.

The living room hadn't changed much. It still had the same black leather sofas and chair, red fluffy rug in front of the large fireplace, white walls decorated with family photos. It was all so recognizable to him that he wanted to cry with relief at seeing a home he remembered, one that didn't feel like a stranger's home to him like the apartment did. As Alec stood there looking around the room, Magnus stayed by his side in silence, giving his boyfriend a moment to take it all in.

The only thing that wasn't familiar to Alec was the stranger slouched down on the sofa. A teenager, quite obviously. He was thin, and his legs looked long and gangly. He was wearing glasses, a black tee and black skinny jeans, along with Converse. His dark hair was shaggy and messy, hanging into his face as he looked down at the mobile in his hand; he was texting by the looks of it. _Who the hell is this guy? _Alec thought to himself.

As if sensing that he wasn't alone in the room anymore, the teen looked up at Magnus and Alec and nodded as he said, "oh, hey guys."

"Hey, Max," Magnus replied easily, stepping around Alec to sit on the other end of the sofa.

"_Max?_" Alec asked in disbelief, his mouth dropping open.

"The one and only," he grinned up at his brother. "Didn't recognize me, huh?"

"You were nine the last time I saw you!" He gasped. "Oh my god! How can you have changed so much so quickly?"

"I haven't," Max rolled his eyes. "I've changed over the years, you just don't know that because of your amnesia. Duh, Alec."

"Did I hear the front door?" Alec heard a feminine voice call, one that he would never forget. Maryse burst into the living room. Unlike her youngest son, she hadn't changed at all over the years, save for a few extra wrinkles and a shorter haircut. "Alec!" She wrapped her arms around him in a hug, stunning Alec. He couldn't remember the last time she had hugged him. "Oh, welcome home. I'm so glad you made it. And I'm so happy you're okay now, it was horrible knowing you were in a coma!" She pulled back and looked up at Alec, who was a little more than a head taller than her. "You look well; you've recovered nicely."

"Thanks," he said awkwardly, not used to so much attention and worry from her. "Where's dad?"

"Well, Jace's car is broke so your father's gone to pick him and Clary up. Sit down, sit down." She ushered him over to the sofa, where he sat in between Magnus and Max. A small look sideways allowed Alec to see that Magnus was frowning at Mayrse, eyes narrowed and mouth turned into a grimace. "I'm just going back into the kitchen to see to the food!"

As soon as she had left the room, Alec turned to Magnus. "What's wrong with you? Why were you frowning at my mum like that?"

"I wasn't frowning," Magnus replied. "I was squinting. The sun was in my eye," he pointed to the window where the sun was indeed shining through into the room.

Alec didn't believe Magnus - he had seen the scowl and grimace, he wasn't stupid - but chose to drop the subject. He'd talk to Magnus about it on the way home when it was just the two of them. Instead, he turned to Max and randomly asked, "so Max, how's school?"

Max sighed and glared at Alec. "Jesus Christ! Why does everybody keep asking me that? Why can't they just let it go and leave me alone?!" He stood up, revealing that he was pretty tall for a fourteen year old, and left the room, slamming the door shut behind him.

Confused, Alec asked, "what did I say?"

Magnus laughed. "Last year, Max apparently started hanging out with a new group of friends. Let's just say, they were the troublemakers at school. Max fell behind in school because he was hanging out with them, and failed his yearly exams. We were all shocked, you know, because Max is normally a massive geek, and your dad was pretty mad at Max for failing. Since then, Max doesn't hang out with that group and your parents are pretty pushy with him to get him to revise. You had a big chat with him at the time, about how important getting good grades at school is. Guess he's just sick of everyone asking how he's doing now."

"But why did he shout at me? He knows I can't remember that!"

"He's a teenager," Magnus replied with a shrug, as if that explained everything.

The sound of the front door closing made them both jump. A few seconds later, Isabelle came into the living room and squealed when she saw the two of them. She leant over to awkwardly give them both a hug before sitting down in Max's empty place. "How are you doing, Alec?"

"Fine," he smiled. "I'm getting back into the routine of things."

Izzy's boyfriend came in then, a tall, lean man with perfectly styled dark hair and blue eyes. He was very handsome, but then again, Izzy never dated unattractive guys. He mumbled hello to Magnus and Alec and sat in one of the chairs; Alec had the feeling that Will was a quiet guy.

"How's mum been treating you?" Izzy asked, trying to sound casual, but Alec detected a hint of nervousness in her voice.

"Strange," he replied. "She hugged me and fussed over me. She was treating me like I was a child." Magnus and Izzy exchanged a look and Alec sighed. "You two know something that I don't. What's going on, guys?"

"Nothing important," his sister replied, a smile on her face. "Anyway, you will not believe what we saw on our way here…"

* * *

Not long after Robert, Jace and Clary had arrived, the meal was ready and the group moved into the dining room, sitting down at the large mahogany table. Magnus was sat in between Alec and Clary, with Isabelle across from him. He felt extremely out of place, especially considering Maryse was completely ignoring him, as if he wasn't even there. She'd talked to everybody at least for a minute, apart from him. Magnus knew that it wasn't that she disliked him - he'd been like another son to her when he was younger - it was just that he was dating Alec. Maryse wasn't comfortable with her son being gay, therefore she wasn't particularly fond of his boyfriend.

Magnus had been planning on telling Alec how his mother had shunned him and didn't accept him for he was; he was going to tell him as soon as they got home. But seeing Alec laugh with his parents and seem so at ease with them made him unable to even think about telling him the truth. Alec had always acted like he didn't care about not being close with his parents, but Magnus had always known that it affected him. He hadn't seen his boyfriend seem so happy with his parents for a long time, and it really was a heart-warming sight.

But Magnus was disgusted by Maryse. How dare she act like nothing had happened! She'd basically ignored Alec for years now, and all of a sudden she was acting like they were all one happy family. Did she see Alec's amnesia as another chance to make things right with him? He was sort of doing the same thing by not telling Alec about the argument, but still. He was lying about one night, not years!

And ignoring Magnus was just taking it too far. Fair enough she didn't like him dating her son, but if she really wanted a happy environment for Alec, shouldn't she include his boyfriend in that? He had been expecting the meal to be filled with awkward silences, but it was turning out to be the opposite. He was furious with Maryse for her behaviour over the years and how much she had hurt Alec; he didn't think she had any right to act like a loving, caring mother. If Isabelle's constant grimace was anything to go by, it looked like she was thinking along the same lines as Magnus.

"I really didn't expect you to recover so quickly," Maryse was saying to Alec. "If I were in your position, I'd be struggling to cope knowing I'd forgotten five years of my life."

"Well, Magnus has been really helpful," Alec replied, surprising Magnus and wiping the smile off Maryse's face. "He's been telling me things about my life, and has been really patient."

"Yeah," Magnus said, nodding and smiling at Maryse. "It's great having Alec back in _our_ home, getting back into the routine we've grown into over the years together. The doctor agreed with us that doing things he used to and living his life exactly like he used to is one of the best ways to trigger his memory, even if he's only remembering a little thing."

"But it might not work," she replied, shrugging. "He might never get his memory back. He might learn that creating a new life for himself is the best." _And you won't be in it, _Magnus could just hear her unspoken words.

"Well, we'll see," he said. "I'm determined to help him in any way I can, and he's pretty determined to get his memory back. If not, we'll just create new memories together."

She frowned at him, but he continued smiling. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Alec blush while frowning, and was worried he'd said something wrong. But then, Alec's frown faded and a shy smile grew on his face, as if he liked the idea of creating new memories.

Maryse saw the same thing, making her scowl even more. Satisfied, Magnus sat back in his seat, grinning a triumphant smile. He looked over at Izzy and saw that she was stifling a laugh.

* * *

Later that evening, Magnus and Alec were on their sofa, watching a movie together just like they had every night that week. The film tonight was Sweeney Todd; a favourite of both of them. Magnus was itching to grab the popcorn off the middle seat, put it on the floor, slide onto the middle seat himself, and pull Alec into his arms. Usually, they always snuggled close together when they watched a movie. It was sweet, and something they both enjoyed doing, so it felt odd to watch a movie with his boyfriend and not be able to cuddle him. Just like with the sleeping situation though, Magnus wasn't going to push the matter because he knew Alec wasn't comfortable with that yet.

"Did you mean what you said when we were at my parents' house?" Alec suddenly asked.

"Hmm?" Magnus looked over at him.

"When you said about creating new memories together if I never get my memory back," he explained. "You're really going to stick around, even if I never remember?"

"Of course," Magnus rolled his eyes. "Alexander, before we even started dating, we were best friends. That means something to me. I'm not going to leave if you never get your memories back; I'll stick around as long as you want me to. If you don't remember, we'll create new memories together - whether that ends up being as friends or more… That is, unless you want me to stick around of course…?"

"I think I do," Alec replied with a shy smile.


	6. Chapter 6

Magnus and Alec strolled down the street, hand-in-hand, the silence between them comfortable and peaceful. They'd encountered a group of chavvy teenagers earlier that had laughed at the couple and shouted out homophobic jaunts, but they were used to that by now and never let it get to them. It had took a while for Alec to be able to hold hands in public, despite already having 'come out of the closet', but now it was like second nature to him and he didn't even think about it, much to Magnus' relief considering he loved showing the world that Alec was his.

"God, we haven't been here in ages," Magnus laughed as he realised where Alec had took him. Michael's Café was only a small place, but still quite popular. It had indoor and outdoor seating, and the food was personally cooked by the owner Michael himself. Magnus and Alec had first visited the café on their first date as an official couple years ago, and had fallen in love with the antique décor and the amazingly delicious food. "This is the best surprise ever," Magnus said. "Thank you so much."

"I just wanted something special for us," Alec replied, smiling at his boyfriend's delight. "It's been about a year since we came here, I missed our regular dates here."

"Me too," Magnus answered. He leant in to give his boyfriend a short, sweet kiss on the lips before they headed inside and sat at their usual table, in the corner by the window.

Because they used to come here so regularly, they had become friends with Michael and his wife Gabriella, who was the sole waitress of the café. "Magnus, Alec!" Gabriella, a short, slightly overweight woman originally from the Philippines, greeted them as she reached their table. "It's been too long since you last came in here, I'm rather disappointed."

Alec laughed and looked up at Gabriella. Despite being in her fifties and being married, she wasn't oblivious to how gorgeous Alec's eyes were, and always blushed when he gave her his full attention. Magnus and Alec constantly joked about how one day Gabriella would show her true cougar colours and try to seduce the younger man. "Oh, we missed you too, Gabs," Alec said smoothly, flashing her his most heartbreaking smile.

Gabs giggled and blushed some more. "Well, that's lovely to hear," she said, her smile growing. "Are you both just wanting your usual meals then?"

"Yes, please," Alec answered for the couple.

With one last awed, flirtatious smile, Gabriella spun on her heels and walked away. Magnus rolled his eyes and said, "you know, you're going to give her a heart attack one day. It's not fair that you tease her like that and give her the smile you know makes people go crazy."

"Stop complaining. It gets us a discount on the food, doesn't it?" Alec smirked and playfully winked.

Magnus grinned and shook his head as he silently chuckled to himself. "Poor old Gabriella," he muttered, knowing full well what it was like to be given one of _those_ smiles from Alec. He reached across the table to hold Alec's hand, brushing his boyfriend's skin gently with his thumb.

Suddenly, Alec froze and ripped his hand from Magnus' grip. Alarmed, Magnus looked up at his boyfriend, wondering what was wrong. "What is it?" He asked immediately.

"Why d-did you just do th-that?" Alec stammered.

"What do you mean?" Magnus frowned. "I always hold your hand."

"I don't even know you!" Alec jumped to his feet, looking down at Magnus in disgust. "Who the hell are you?"

"I'm your boyfriend, Alexander," Magnus replied nervously. "You know that. What's got into you?"

"You're crazy," Alec spat, shaking his head. "_I've never seen you before in my life. _Just leave me alone and find someone else to obsess over!" With another disgusted look down at Magnus, who was sat frozen in his seat in shock, Alec stormed out of the café angrily.

When Gabriella came back over just a few seconds later and put Magnus' meal in front of him on the table, he sighed. "You won't need to bring Alec's meal over, he just left," he said dejectedly.

Gabriella looked at Magnus as if he were mental. "Alec? Magnus, who on Earth is Alec?"

* * *

Magnus awoke with a start, sweat beading his forehead and his breathing erratic. The duvet was hanging off the bed, as if he had kicked it away in the middle of the night and his whole body was shaking. He'd had nightmares before, sure, especially when Alec was in the coma fighting for his life, but this one had had a drastic effect on him and he could not believe how shook up he was from it.

_It was just a dream, _he told himself. _Just a dream. It's not real. Alec hasn't forgotten who you are. It was just a dream. _He stumbled into the bathroom, stripping out of his underwear - the only thing he had worn to bed the night before - and stepped into the shower.

The hot water helped soothe his body from the effects of the nightmare and he breathed out in relief that the shaking had stopped. As he washed himself, Alec's expression of disgust was stuck in his mind still. Yesterday, Alec had told him that he still wanted him in his life no matter what happened, and that had made Magnus' day; he'd fallen asleep with a smile on his face, Alec's words echoing in his mind: _"I think I do." _Despite this though, the nightmare really had shook Magnus up. He knew that Alec wouldn't ever entirely forget who he was, but what if one day he changed his mind and wanted Magnus to just leave him alone? Magnus wasn't sure if his poor heart could take that after everything else it had gone through already.

As he thought about the nightmare, an idea formed in his mind. A great idea, in his opinion. Whether Alec would agree or not, he wasn't sure, but it was worth a shot, and it might even help with Alec's memory. Magnus knew that was probably hoping for too much, but still, what was the harm in trying?

He quickly got out of the shower, towel-dried himself, and went back into the bedroom to get dressed. When he went into the kitchen, Alec was sat at the breakfast bar, eating his favourite cereal while looking at the laptop screen in front of him. Magnus grabbed an apple and sat across from Alec, taking the first few bites in silence.

"How's the book coming along then?" He finally spoke, genuinely curious.

"Good," Alec nodded. "I managed to read the first books in the series quickly, and thankfully, I'd kept a load of notes on the next one on my laptop, so I'm starting to get into the hang of writing again. I love it," he smiled and blushed. "I'm so glad this is my job."

"Me too, you're always so happy when you're writing," Magnus replied, smiling. "So anyway, don't bother coming up to the studio at lunchtime today."

Alec's head shot up, his eyebrows furrowing together in confusion, head tilting to the side. "Why not? I don't mind going there."

"I know," he nodded. "But I'm going to take the afternoon off, they can cope without me. They did practically every day when you were in a coma and I were visiting you, so they'll be fine. I want to take you somewhere instead."

"Really?" Alec's confusion disappeared and he smiled. "Where are you taking me?"

"To, um, a little café called Michael's Café. Does the name mean anything to you?" He asked hopefully, wondering if it would ring any bells, but after a moment of thought, Alec shook his head. "I didn't think it would, but it was worth asking. Anyway, the café is owned by a man named Michael, and his wife Gabriella. When we first started dating again, that was where went for our first date and we loved it. We used to go there a lot, so I thought that being somewhere that used to be really familiar might help you. And if it doesn't, it's just a nice lunch together that's not in the office for once," he shrugged.

"Okay, sounds good," Alec nodded, making Magnus relieved that Alec agreed it was a good idea. "So how are we getting there? Can I drive?" He looked excited by the thought.

Magnus smirked. "Alexander, you learnt to drive three years ago, therefore you don't remember your lessons. Do you really think I'd get in a car with you when you don't know how to drive? Besides, I don't let anybody other than me drive my car, and yours was wrecked in the crash."

"But I have a license, I'm allowed to drive!" He argued.

"It's not happening," Magnus shook his head. "Your car is at the mechanic's, but I haven't asked them to fix it for you yet. I had more important things to think about. And besides, Michael's Café is only about ten minutes from here, it's easier to walk. That's what we usually did."

"Oh, okay," Alec said, looking dejected. "But I'm going to learn how to drive again, you just watch," he grinned. "So are you just going to come back here so we can walk there together or should I meet you down at the studio?"

"I'll just meet you here. I want to change out of these clothes before we go, anyway." He looked at the clock and sighed. "I gotta get to work."

"Okay," Alec replied. Magnus stood up, and hesitated. He wanted to kiss Alec goodbye, just like he used to every morning. Noticing Magnus' hesitation, Alec asked, "is everything okay?"

_He's not ready for you to start kissing him again, _Magnus reminded himself with an inward sigh. "Yeah," he nodded. "My mind just went blank for a moment. See you later, Alec."

"Yeah, bye," Alec smiled.

Magnus smiled back and left the apartment, already wishing for the morning to speed up so he could take Alec out on their 'date'.

* * *

**I apologize for this chapter being quite shortish, but it's just a filler really to lead up to the next one. The idea of Magnus recreating a date they had in the past was given to me by **_wolfbound321_**, thank you!**

**Reviews make me happy and make me scream like a teenage girl (ok, I _am_ a teenage girl, but whatever) and want to update again as soon as I can. The more reviews I get, the happier I get & the quicker I update. Just saying ;)**

**Anyway, thank you to **_Blue eyed fantasies**, **wolfbound321**, **IamGingerButtons**, **howiloveyouso**, **gleekforever63_** and **_HikariMelody_** for the reviews on Chapter 5. That was the first time since I started writing this story that I've actually been completely happy with my writing and how the chapter turned out, so it was great to know you all liked it as well :-)  
**

**I'll shut up now, I know I'm annoying *sigh*  
**


	7. Chapter 7

**Wow, it's been a while since I updated, hasn't it? A long while! Sorry about that. My notebook broke so I couldn't get online or anything, please don't hate me, I missed updating :( I wrote a few chapters on paper though so I could type them and edit them when I get my new laptop for Christmas. But, my mum being the wonderful person that she is, has let me have my laptop early so I can do college coursework. But I've decided to put a new chapter up for you guys as well as doing my work, simply because it's been so long :)**

**Updates will go back to normal from now on, but please don't hate me if at one point I don't update for longer than a week or so. My coursework for college is just piling up and is very stressful and frustrating, but I promise to try and update as much as I possibly can :-)**

**I hope you like this chapter and that my writing hasn't gotten worse from the break I've had from writing. **

**Please leave reviews. **

**Oh and much love to you all if you're still reading, thank you! xo**

* * *

Alec fell in love with Michael's café the moment the couple entered and he had a chance to look around. It had an ancient, old quality to it and the random bits and bobs that were hung on the wall - from a photo of the Eiffel Tower to a plastic framed fish - shouldn't have gone so well together, but somehow, they did. Classic musical was playing; the tables and chairs were all wooden; the lighting was dimmed. It gave off a relaxing vibe, and the staff looked friendly and had constant genuine smiles on their faces. He completely understood why he and Magnus loved the place so much.

Noticing the awe in his boyfriend's face, Magnus smiled and said, "it's nice, right? We found it by accident, and just adored it immediately... Ah, there she is."

Alec looked away from a photo of the London Eye, and noticed the woman walking towards them. She was short and a little chubby, with dark hair and slanted eyes. A grin was on her face, unbothered by the fact that the café was mostly empty thanks to most people being outside enjoying the rare sunshine.

"Hey Gabriella," Magnus said, his voice portraying the fact that he was fond of the lady.

As soon as she reached them, she squealed and, with more force than should have been possible for her height, reaching up and grabbed Alec's face before pulling it down down to hers and planting a sloppy kiss on his lips. She let go of the frozen and startled man... And then gave him a punch on the chest that actually stung a little considering the amount of force she put into it. "_That_ is for being such a terrible driver and making me worry about you so much!" She scolded him, bringing out a bout of laughter from Magnus. "Oh yes, your sister told me everything that happened on her last visit here, Alexander. You should be more careful on the roads, you silly boy, God knows how much pain you put poor Magnus through. But it is lovely to see you again; both of you. Now, would you like your usual?"

"Yes, please," Magnus replied for both of them, knowing that Alec wouldn't even know what their usual was here. After Gabriella nodded and walked away, Magnus turned and led Alec towards a table in the corner by the window. Alec didn't understand why they weren't sitting at a table outside in the sun, but didn't say anything seeing as Magnus was supposed to be in charge of this date. They sat across from each other and Magnus said, "that was Gabriella, Michael's wife. She's kind of infatuated with you. Not that I can blame her, of course, with eyes like yours..."

Alec rolled his eyes, his cheeks blushing pink as he realised Magnus was flirting with him. "Watch out then, Magnus," he said, surprised by how easily the flirting came to him. "That on top of the kiss she just gave me? She could be planning on becoming a true cougar and stealing me away from you."

He watched as a special glint sparkled in Magnus' green eyes, and a smirk spread across his face. It reminded Alec of when they were teenagers - which actually felt quite recent to him - and they'd gone swimming together, leading to them having their first kiss in a cave. Magnus had looked at him like that then as well - it was a look of pure, full-hearted love mixed with a feeling of amusement and smugness. Like the cat that got the cream. It had made Alec's body tingle all those years ago and the effect it had on him certainly hadn't changed over time. Feeling self-conscious, he awkwardly asked, "what is it?"

Magnus shook his head and said, "nothing. It's just that we always used to have fun by joking around about Gabriella being a cougar, it's nice to do that again."

"Oh. Right," Alec smiled, feeling a bout of satisfaction at reliving a memory he couldn't remember. "Magnus, thank you for bringing me here. I appreciate it."

"Don't thank me," he shrugged. "It's not a big deal."

But that was the thing though: both of them knew that it actually was a big deal. This was where they had their first date; it was a big step for Magnus to bring the 'new' Alec here, and a major step for Alec to agree to it. Alec could see the happy light in Magnus' eyes that told him just how much this meant to the other man, and he found himself liking the fact that he was pleasing Magnus.

He felt that they had definitely developed their relationship since that disastrous first day in the hospital that resulted in Magnus walking out of the room upset, and although he was uncertain what that meant to them as a couple, he was... Relieved. Relieved that they were getting along and Magnus hadn't left him for good; relieved that they were happy together and it wasn't too awkward. He was happier than he could ever remember being. Everything at that moment just seemed so simplistically perfect and honestly, he didn't want that to change.

Magnus had done so much for him and Alec felt like he should return the favour and do something small to show just how much he really did appreciate all Magnus was doing for him. Something that would make Magnus' heart warm with tranquillity.

Alec looked out of the clean and clear window beside him and saw a passing couple walking hand-in-hand, laughing as they crossed the road. They gave him the perfect idea of what to do to show Magnus that he wasn't the same completely lost boy anymore, that Magnus had helped him get at least a small grip on the Alec he had become over the years.

The Alec that was madly in love with Magnus Bane.

* * *

The afternoon was going far better than Magnus had dared to even hope for. Alec was pleased with what his usual was and thought the food was delicious. The couple were engaging in a normal conversation that felt easy and effortless. Alec even flirted with Gabriella a little, making the pair of them laugh uncontrollably when Gabriella's expression became flustered, despite the fact she was married. The day led Magnus to realise that Alec was slowly changing back into the man he had been before the accident - especially considering five years ago Alec would never have had the confidence to flirt with anyone like that - but the blush that had stayed on his cheeks for a lot of the meal because of Magnus' adoring looks towards him, showed that he was also still in his teenage mind-set at the same time.

It was crazily confusing. It was like he was a new blend of three different Alec's: the teen from five years ago, the author from just before the car accident, and the amnesia-ridden lost man. Magnus didn't think it was possible to, but he surprisingly found himself falling in love with Alec even more, over and over again, with every passing second that they spent together.

And a large part of him hated that. It was like an endless repeat of emotions, and he knew he was just setting himself up for more heartache. He was trying to be patient, he really was, but he was now a big believer that he and Alec would never get back together. They be 'just friends' for the rest of their lives, all because of the effect of one stupid car accident. He wasn't going to leave Alec just because of that though, but it still hurt him to think that way.

He tried not to think about all of this that afternoon, but it was difficult considering every time Alec smiled all he wanted to do was to lean over the table and kiss him for being so perfect to him. It genuinely physically hurt his heart to know that he couldn't do that without any consequences like he used to be able to.

On the walk back to the apartment, Alec said, "that was a great date, Magnus. I had a good time, thank you. Did our first date go that well too?"

"Pretty much, yeah. But, considering I'm trying to recreate our first date... It isn't over yet," he grinned. "You'll have to wait until we get home to find out what's next."

Alec giggled, an excited glimmer in his bright blue eyes. "Oh, okay. I can't wait."

They walked in a relative silence for a few minutes, but it wasn't awkward. If anything, it was rather nice. And then... Magnus felt something warm and just the slightest bit sweaty - not in a disgusting way though - slide against his palm. He looked down and saw Alec's hand entwining with his, their fingers linking together.

"Alexander..." He gasped, looking up to meet Alec's steady gaze and smiling face. "Oh, honey."

As cliché as it sounds, it was like the rest of the world just disappeared around them and in that moment, nothing else mattered but the two of them. Holding hands is something most people consider simple, isn't it? Not a lot of people see it as a signification action, but it was for this couple. It was something that said Alec was one step closer to being ready for more than just friendship and it meant more to Magnus than any poxy recreational date could. It gave him hope and washed away his recent heartbreaking doubts. It was brave of Alec to do this - in his state of mind, with five years of his life missing, he should have been terrified and nervous of holding hands with another guy in public, but there was absolutely none of that showing in his expression. Just tenderness that heated Magnus' heart and whole body.

"Thank you," Magnus whispered, tears in his eyes. He felt like an idiot for crying over holding hands with his own boyfriend, but he just couldn't stop himself.

Alec didn't need words to reply; he simply smiled. He began walking again, pulling Magnus along with him and keeping a firm grip on his hand.

* * *

When they walked out of the lift in their building - still holding hands considering Magnus refused point blank to let go, which Alec didn't want him to - they were still laughing over how stunned the male receptionist, Joshua, had looked when he saw them holding hands as if they were a couple again without the amnesia in the way. Their laughter stopped however when they saw the figure outside their apartment door, sat on the floor with his knees bent and pulled to him, his back against the door.

Max looked up at them and breathed out, "finally." He stood up, picking up the large, heavy bag that had been beside him. "I've been waiting here for an hour. Do neither of you know how to answer a phone?"

"We were on a date, our phones were on silent," Magnus explained, choosing not to apologize. "Max, not that it isn't always a pleasure to see you, but... What the hell are you doing here?"

Max grinned and said, "I'm coming to live with you."

A silence fell upon the three men. Magnus and Alec were too shocked to speak and Max was awaiting their reply.

Alec was the first to recover from speechlessness and turned to Magnus. He asked, "is this part of the recreation of our first date?"


	8. Chapter 8

**Thank you for reviewing, it means so much to me! Some of you weren't exactly happy with Max being there (I don't blame you, he interrupted their date! :() but him living with Magnus and Alec is kinda needed for a future thing in the story.**

**Hope you like this chapter! xo**

* * *

Have you ever been in a room where somebody says that the silence is loud? It doesn't make sense when you first hear it, does it? But if you really think about it, it is quite a good, yet simple, description of an environment. It's true; silence can be loud.

It's the type of silence that's awkward. Tense. Almost painful, perhaps. It's the type of silence that builds and builds, so much so that it ends up being an annoying, incessant pressure in your mind. It's the type of silence that feels like it's screaming out at you like a banshee, unstoppable. It's the silence that makes the people in the room try their best to avoid looking at each other because it's so uncomfortable.

The silence is loud because there are so many emotions, thoughts and feelings swirling around in the air. And in the end, when the silence is broken, it's always because of one person: they crack. They can't handle how miserable the situation is and without even realising it, they are the first to break the silence. And just like that, almost half of the awkwardness and tension in the room simply disappears, all because the silence has.

In this case, Max was the first to break, breaking the silence with one small sentence as the three of them sat on the sofas, suffocating in the silence: "please let me stay with you."

Alec felt some of the tension go away, following the silence to its next victims. He breathed a long sigh and said, "Max, you're fourteen years old. You should be at home with your parents. Surely mum and dad would prefer you to be there, instead of having you move out?"

"No," Max shook his head. And then, the cockiness in his expression fell away and revealed his true emotions. Alec realised that his little brother looked devastated, heartbroken almost, as a grim expression crossed his face and tears formed in his eyes. "They don't want me there. You should have seen them, Alec... They looked so disgusted with me."

"What did you do?" Alec asked softly, fearing the worst. Was he in trouble at school again? Or was it way worse than that... Drugs, perhaps? He couldn't imagine his brother being a drug user, especially at that age, but it happened all the time to other people. He hoped he had just jumped to conclusions, that it wasn't anything as bad as that... But Max wasn't answering, he was just staring at the ground. "Max," he pushed. "What happened?"

Finally, Max looked up at his older brother. "Mum caught me kissing my boyfriend."

Alec's face became almost cartoon-like: eyes wide open, mouth formed in the shape of an 'O', skin ghostly pale. He was speechless; he couldn't bring himself to ask what he wanted to.

Thankfully, Magnus seemed to know what he wanted to ask, and so he spoke instead. "You're gay?"

Max shook his head. "No... I don't know. I think I'm bisexual because I kind of like girls too. I don't know, I'm just confused, I guess. I've been dating Liam for a few months now, but I didn't tell mum and dad because I knew how they would react."

"Wow, okay... Sorry, Max, I just guess this is a huge surprise," Magnus said, running his fingers through his hair. "So did they kick you out when they found out?"

"No, but I know they were tempted. They looked horrified, they barely spoke a word to me. You know how old-fashioned they are, they can't stand the thought of their son being gay... they just don't understand, they want everything to be their way. I can't live with them, it'll be horrible. I can just imagine how awkward it will be every day. I know you have a spare bedroom, so please let me stay here. I won't be any trouble, I promise," he was begging now.

"Max, I want to help, I really do," Magnus said, "but it's not up to me. You're Alec's brother, he should be the one to decide." Max nodded in understanding and they both looked at Alec. Little did they realise that he had barely been paying attention to their conversation as his thoughts were elsewhere, thinking about something Max had said that was bugging at his mind. "Alec?"

Alec looked up and frowned at Max. "I don't get what the big deal is. Mum and dad are fine with me being gay, they accept me for being who I am, so why wouldn't they do that for you?" Neither Max nor Magnus answered him straight away. "They are fine with it, aren't they?" Doubt crept into his voice.

"Alexander, I was going to tell you..." Magnus started.

"What, Magnus? What? Spit it out!"

"Your parents... Well, they weren't happy when you told them you were gay. You didn't move out straight away, but you eventually did because everything was so tense. Over the years, you haven't had much contact with them. They just can't accept the fact that you're gay. I'm so sorry, Alec."

"You knew all this time and you didn't tell me? Don't you think I deserve to know this?! I can't believe you," he shook his head. He quickly got up and let the room, ignoring Magnus calling after him, and went straight to his bedroom, slamming the door behind him as hard as he could.

He knew that he was acting like a sulking teenager, but he didn't care. He was angry, upset, confused... Betrayed. Things had been going so well between him and Magnus and then this bombshell goes ahead and drops on him! Alec sat down on the edge of the bed, leaning forward and putting his head in his hands.

He sat that way for a long ten minutes, crying his heart out. A knock at the door brought him back to reality, but he tried his best to ignore it, choosing not to let the person in. Magnus clearly hadn't got the hint though, and strolled straight in, sitting down next to Alec.

"I wanted to tell you," he said. "So did Isabelle. She barely talks to your parents now too, you know, she hates what they did to you. We were going to tell you, we were so angry that your mum had chosen to act like nothing happened... but you just looked so happy with the attention and love she was giving you. Alec, you have to understand: these past few years, I have had to see you upset and devastated about your parents and it absolutely killed me. I finally got to see you happy with them, and it was so lovely to see. Please don't hate me for this, I was just trying to do what's best for you."

"Magnus, I'm never going to have a chance at getting my memories back if people keep lying to me about what I've forgotten!" He exclaimed, still with his head in his hands. He didn't want to look at Magnus; he was scared that if he did, he'd look into those beautiful eyes and just forgive him for everything. But it wasn't that easy, he couldn't let himself do that. "I would have preferred for you to tell me the truth instead of letting me find out this way."

"I understand," Magnus nodded. "I just couldn't stand the thought of seeing you upset about it all over again. But you're right about the fact that you had a right to know, I shouldn't have kept the truth from you."

"No, you shouldn't have," Alec agreed. "I think I deserve to know my parents hate me."

"They don't hate you... they just don't understand you. I'm not taking their side here, I'm just saying that they were both brought up in a certain way and to believe certain things, and it's a struggle for them to change that. I hope that one day they'll be able to get past it, and see that you're still the same son that they knew before you came out to them, and I believe they will get past it one day, they just need time."

"Time?" Alec scoffed. "Do they expect me to just always be here, waiting for them to come around? It's too late, I don't want anything to do with them anymore."

"I know you don't mean that," Magnus said gently. He put a hand on Alec's back and started gently rubbing it. Somehow, it soothed Alec and calmed him down enough for his anger to fade.

He looked up at Magnus at last, and sighed. "You're right," he admitted, fresh tears falling down his cheeks. "When we had that family dinner, I could feel that something was wrong and I could tell that something was going on by the way you and Izzy acted around my mum. But a part of me didn't care, I just wanted... Well, to be happy, I guess. God, why can't they just love me for who I am? Why do they have to be so difficult? It's not fair."

"I know, it isn't," Magnus said before wiping a tear from Alec's cheeks. "But in a way, history's repeating itself with Max now. Maybe losing Max too, for the same reason they lost you, will knock some sense into them and make them realise that no matter what your sexuality is, you're still their sons. Your parents are good people, they just find it hard to understand others. Like I said, just give it time and see what happens... I really am sorry for not telling you, Alec."

"I know you are," he smiled sadly. "I just hope they don't mess things up with Max for as long as they have with me. I have to admit that Max having a boyfriend came as a shock to me as well, I didn't expect it, but we have to be there for him and support him so he doesn't feel completely unwanted, like he probably does with my parents."

"You're right," Magnus nodded, agreeing. "Look, I'll go and call your mother, let her know that Max is here with us before she starts worrying. I'll sleep on the sofa tonight, Max can have my room."

"Okay." Magnus stood up to leave the room but just before he left, Alec said, "so what were we going to do next for our date then?"

Magnus smiled at him. "I was going to cook a pizza, and burn it terribly. Then we were going to order a takeaway and sit in bed watching as many Harry Potter movies as we can before falling asleep together on the bed."

"We still have time to do that, you know. Just because Max is here, it doesn't mean we have to end our date... I guess you should go and put the pizza on."

Magnus grinned.


	9. Chapter 9

When Magnus woke up, he blinked repeatedly and let out a long sigh. Memories of last night came flooding back to him: after the pizza had arrived (a replacement for the pizza that he burned perfectly), they had gone into the main bedroom that was now Alec's, and had lounged around on the bed having a Harry Potter Marathon. Alec was the first to fall asleep during _The Half-Blood Prince_, drifting off on his side of the bed and then, a few minutes later, moving to Magnus' side.

Now, Magnus looked down at Alec, the man he was holding tightly in his arms. Alec had an arm tightly around Magnus' waist, his head on his chest and a leg wrapped around Magnus' legs, cocooning him with his body... Just like old times. There was no chance of Magnus even trying to move now- he had waited for what felt like so long to wake up encased in Alec's hold again and he wasn't going to willingly move anytime soon.

He kissed Alec's forehead and ran his fingers through Alec's dark hair, a content and peaceful smile on his face. He wouldn't dare do this if Alec was awake, knowing that it would probably freak him out or something because he wasn't at that stage yet.

After another ten minutes or so, Magnus was content enough to move. He'd thought about how Alec might react to waking up and finding himself clinging onto Magnus like this- no doubt he'd feel awkwardly embarrassed. To save Alec from that, Magnus managed to untangle himself from Alec's hold and slip off the bed, and out of the room.

In the kitchen, he found Max eating a bowl of Alec's favourite cereal whilst texting on his phone. "Morning," Max mumbled as Magnus sat next to him. "Where's Alec?"

"Still asleep," Magnus answered.

"Good," Max said. "That means we can talk without him overhearing." He put his phone down on the counter and turned so that he was giving Magnus his whole attention. "Jace told about that night before Alec's accident. He told me what happened and how Alec spent the night at his because of it. I just wanted to know if you plan on telling Alec about it?"

Magnus sighed. He knew that this subject would come up eventually, but he'd been hoping he'd have longer to think about it and avoid the talk. He shook his head and said, "I don't know. I'm definitely not planning on telling him anything anytime soon. He's finally beginning to get comfortable with me again and be happy, I don't want to ruin that."

"Yes, but he deserves to know, Magnus."

"Don't you think I know that? I've thought about it so many times you wouldn't believe it. I know it sounds selfish Max, but I can't tell him yet- this is my chance to make amends and fix my relationship with him. I know he's your brother and you don't want to keep things from him, but please don't tell him, Max. If Alec knew that I'd driven him to be that sort of person... it would kill him. He'd hate me and he'd hate himself. There's no need for him to know."

"Well I disagree," Max argued. "I think he should know. But I won't tell him. It's between you two, and you should be the one to decide whether to tell him or not. Besides, you never know, he might end up remembering himself. Just promise me you won't hurt him, Magnus. He doesn't need that, I don't mean to sound harsh, but I'll really hurt you if you hurt him, okay?"

"I get it," Magnus smiled. "You're just looking out for your older brother. Look, my sister's back off holiday today so I'm going for a drink with her. I'm going to get ready, if Alec's not up by the time I'm gone, tell him I'll have my phone on me, okay?"

"Okay," Max nodded and returned to his phone.

After putting on his make-up and sorting out his hair, Magnus changed into a sparkly purple tee, black leather jacket, white skinny jeans, and black knee-high leather boots that had a small left the apartment after waving goodbye to Max, got into the lift and headed down to the lobby.

He cast a glance towards the reception desk and saw Joshua - a medium height, muscular, nineteen year old boy with sandy blonde hair and green eyes - sending daggers towards Magnus.

Magnus shook his head, sighed, and walked over to the desk. "What is your problem exactly, Joshua? Come on, spit it out."

"Don't act stupid," Joshua snapped. "You know what my problem is. Alec might not remember what happened, but I do, and I'm not giving up on him that easily."

"Listen, Joshua," Magnus replied in a menacing tone, eyes narrowed angrily. "You better stay away from Alec, you hear me? He's _my_ boyfriend, get over it, he's happy, do you really want to ruin that? Leave him alone! I'm not letting you take him away from me!"

Joshua laughed and teased, "the fact that you think I could just proves how weak your relationship with him has become."

Magnus wanted to hit the youngster who seemed to think he knew everything, when actually he knew barely anything, about his relationship with Alec. He clenched his fists and took a deep breath, knowing that hitting him would get him nowhere. "Just stay away from him, Joshua. I mean it." He turned around and walked out of the building, taking his anger with him.

The fresh air outside - which was clammy and chilly from the rain-clouds above - felt good on his heated skin and managed to calm him, if only slightly. He wanted to cry in anguish and heartbreak, but he also wanted to scream with anger and lash out at somebody. Somehow though, he found the strength to hold all of it in and started walking down the road, to the plain little coffee house down the street.

He'd lied to Max; he wasn't going to meet up with Maia. It was true that she was home from her holiday, and he planned to call her and meet up soon, but right now, he wasn't seeing his sister, he was going to see somebody else.

Somebody he knew he shouldn't be in contact with anymore considering how much trouble it caused for him when Alec found out he had been talking to him, but Magnus had instantly said yes when this person phoned and asked to meet. Magnus told himself that it was just a business meeting and, unlike the last times, he wouldn't talk about anything personal.

He remembered how, when Alec had found out, he had been more upset about the fact Magnus had kept it a secret from him, not that he was meeting up with the person. So a part of him knew that he probably should have explained the situation to Alec before he came here. But recently Magnus was having problems with honesty, plus he was scared of how Alec would react _again_, and didn't want to ruin things when they were just getting good again.

He was acting like a coward, he knew that, but he'd come so close to losing Alec twice - after the argument, and when Alec nearly died - and he didn't want to experience that again.

He stopped outside the coffee house and sighed, hating himself for keeping yet another secret from Alec. From keeping the _same_ secret from Alec.

Magnus looked through the window and saw that the person he was meeting was already seated at a table, waiting for him.

Ragnor Fell.

* * *

Leaving Max at the apartment, Alec decided to go out for a little while and just wander the streets, maybe do a bit of shopping. People crowded the streets, shoving past Alec like he meant nothing to them; and he liked that. Nobody was walking on eggshells around him, afraid he would break, and he enjoyed the anonymity for once.

He ended up buying himself a new book, and then walking into one of the DVD stores. Last night was the best night he had since the accident, due to the fact he simply liked spending some time with Magnus that wasn't tainted by questions caused by his amnesia. He was pretty sure that Magnus had fallen asleep on the bed with him, but he'd been gone when he woke up. He didn't care that much though- last night had been a night of restful sleep, the first night he hadn't tossed and turned and woke up numerous times during the night.

He realised that he had liked sharing the bed with Magnus.

He walked down another aisle in the store and heard a familiar laugh. Turning, he saw the familiar caramel-skinned, dark haired, beautiful woman that was Maia Bane. He would have walked over and said hello, but she was with a few girlfriends and Alec decided to just leave her be. Magnus had mentioned that Maia had been on holiday with Jordan, whom she was still dating all these years later - in fact, they were now engaged - and Alec guessed he and Magnus could go and visit Maia another day.

Looking at the DVD boxsets, he quickly realised that he had no idea what films were good. Frowning, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and speed-dialled Magnus' number.

After six rings, he answered. "Alec, hey. What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he replied. "I'm just out shopping and thought I could get us another box set of movies to watch tonight or something. You know, last night was fun, I thought we could do it again."

"That sounds brilliant," he could hear the grin in Magnus' voice. "I would love that."

"Good," Alec smiled himself. "I'm stood in the DVD store now though and I have no idea what DVD's to get. Any suggestions?"

"Hmm..." Magnus paused for a moment. "_The Twilight Saga_ series. They're my favourite movies but I never managed to get you to watch them with me. I think it's about time we did that though. I don't have them on DVD, so you can get them if you want."

"Ok, I'll have a look for them," Alec said with a little nod. "Where are you anyway? Max told me you went out, but didn't say where. We could meet up for lunch or something if you're still in the area."

Magnus replied, "I'd love to, but I'm just having coffee with Maia. Maybe later?"

Frowning again, Alec looked back over at Maia, who was still stood talking and laughing with her friends. "So you're with Maia right now?" Alec pressed.

"Yes," came the reply. "Shall I call you when I'm finished here so we can meet for lunch?"

"No, it doesn't matter. I'll just see you at home," he said and quickly hung up.

Magnus clearly wasn't with Maia. So, who was he really with? And why would he lie to Alec about it? He spotted the boxset of the movies Magnus wanted, grabbed them, and started walking towards the tills, feeling hurt and angry both at the same time.

_As soon as he gets home, I'm going to find out the truth,_ he promised himself.


	10. Chapter 10

**Thank you for the reviews on the last chapter! So, in this one, you get the answers about Ragnor but you'll also be left with other questions unanswered and more things about the past to find out. Mwahahaha ;)**

**I planned on updating sooner than this but I was really trying hard to make the chapter perfect and I'm pretty happy with how it came out, so I hope you lot are too.**

**Please leave reviews? I only need 6 more until I reach 100 reviews, think you can get me there? Please? :D I'll love you all forever, haha.**

**Charlotte xo**

* * *

Magnus paid for his hot chocolate with all the trimmings, picked it up, and made his way over to where Ragnor was sat, sliding into the chair across from him. "Hey," he said. "Sorry I'm late."

"You're not, I was early," replied Magnus' ex-best friend. "How are you? How's Alec been?"

"Things are... Getting better," Magnus smiled fondly at the thought. "His memory hasn't come back, but he's doing okay. How's your wife?"

"She's fine, just a month left until the baby's due," he replied. Then he blurted out, "how can you be with Alec after what he did to you? Magnus, for crying out loud, he ki-"

"Shut up," Magnus interrupted him. "I'm not leaving him. Besides, this has nothing to do with you."

"I'm just looking out for my friend."

"We're not friends anymore, Ragnor, you know that!" Magnus protested. "Not after the way you treated me and Alec in high school."

"That was years ago. I thought we were over this, I thought we were mature enough to get over it."

"We are," Magnus sighed. "But Alec doesn't know that I'm out with you, he doesn't even remember that I'm in touch with you again, I haven't told him. And yeah, I guess you and I are friends again, sort of. But I don't want to talk about Alec to you, I just want to talk about business."

"But Mags... Look, who else are you going to talk to about this? You obviously can't talk to Alec about it," he pressed on. "I feel bad about what happened between us in the past, I want to make up for it and be a good friend to you now."

Magnus looked at Ragnor's face and saw only sincerity in his expression. Ever since Ragnor met his wife, Camille, last year, he had become a better person and had got in touch with Magnus to try and make amends for the past. And he had done; he and Magnus had become friends again. But Magnus had been scared of how Alec would react so he kept it a secret. When Alec found out, he was angry Magnus hadn't told him, and that simple little thing was what took them to what Magnus now referred to as '_the_ argument.'

"Everybody makes mistakes," Magnus said. "I've made plenty. What Alec did was a mistake and he regretted it, which is why I'm not leaving him now. I love him, we both deserve another chance. We were both messed up back then and we both made a joke of our relationship, but I believe we're made for each other and no matter what happens, we'll always end up together. So you can say whatever you want Ragnor, but this is my decision to make and I'm not leaving him."

"I understand. Really, I do. So, you haven't told him about us being friends again?" Magnus shook his head. "Or about how bad your relationship had become before the accident? What he did? The marriage proposal? The rumours online?" Magnus shook his head no to all of them. "Magnus," Ragnor tutted, shaking his head in disapproval. "As a friend, I am telling you this with honesty and no harm intended: your relationship with Alec is going to end soon, unless you stop it with all these secrets. How do you expect Alec to be himself again, and have a proper relationship with you again, if he doesn't know everything that happened? Lying and hiding the truth gets you nowhere. It'll all come back around eventually, and the consequences will be even more disastrous."

"Then what do I do?" Magnus groaned.

"You need to tell him everything," Ragnor replied. "No, don't look at me like that. I know you're scared of losing him, and you might do, but you'll lose him forever he finds out the truth about everything elsewhere and knows you didn't tell him. I admit, in high school, I hated the idea of you two being together because... Well, I was a bastard, basically. But I want you to be together now because I know how happy he makes you, but that's not going to happen if you don't tell him the truth."

"I know," Magnus said quietly. "I know have to tell him everything. I just... I need more time. If I have more time, I can prove to him how perfect we are for each other so that when I do tell him, he might be able to get past it this time. It was my fault that he did what he did, and I'm not ready for him to know yet. I promised myself that I would always protect Alec, and this is what's best for him for now."

Ragnor sighed and shrugged as he said, "well, it's up to you. Shall we talk about this business deal then?"

Magnus nodded straight away, eager to change the subject. Ragnor worked in a media publication company which wanted to help promote Magnus' Dance Studio in return for a small percentage of the fees he collected from the students' parents. Magnus had decided to say yes- the publicity could be very good for his Studio and possibly bring in even more students. He already had enough, but he was always hoping to find new talent. The money Ragnor's company would get out this would barely put a dent in Magnus' bank account; it was hardly anything, really, not even a quarter of one student's fees. It was a win-win situation.

Whilst they were discussing the contract, Magnus' phone rang, the caller I.D indicating it was Alec phoning. Magnus smiled and answered the call. "Alec, hey. What's wrong?" He asked, wondering why he was calling.

"Nothing. I'm just out shopping and thought I could get us another box set of movies to watch tonight or something. You know, last night was fun, I thought we could do it again."

Magnus grinned happily, thrilled that Alec had had just as much fun as he did. The thought of him wanting to spend more quality time with him warmed his heart and gave him hope that their relationship really could develop into something great again. "That sounds brilliant, I would love that."

"Good," Alec said; Magnus could just imagine the smile on his face. "I'm stood in the DVD store now though and I have no idea of what DVD's to get. Any suggestions?"

"Hmm..." Magnus thought briefly. "_The Twilight Saga_ series. They're my favourite movies but I never managed to get you to watch them with me. I think it's about time we did that though. I don't have them on DVD, so you can get them if you want."

"Ok, I'll have a look for them. Where are you anyway? Max told me you went out, but didn't say where. We could meet up for lunch or something if you're still in the area."

Magnus' smile grew even wider at that- Alec actually asking to spend even more time than usual with him. He loved it. But unfortunately, he was nowhere near finished looking at this contract. He sighed and said, "I'd love to, but I'm just having coffee with Maia. Maybe later?"

Alec went silent for a moment, and when he next spoke, there was an odd tone to his voice. "So you're with Maia right now?"

"Yes," he lied. "Shall I call you when I'm finished here so we can meet for lunch?"

"No, it doesn't matter. I'll just see you at home," Alec said quickly before hanging up.

Magnus put his phone back in his pocket, frowning in confusion. Why did Alec hang up? Was he angry at him for not wanting to meet up? He looked up to see Ragnor looking at him, eyebrows raised in accusation, clearly disapproving of Magnus lying to Alec yet again.

"Shut up, Ragnor."

* * *

When Magnus got back to the apartment, the place was so silent you could have heard a pin drop. He walked into the living room, wondering where the Lightwood brothers were, looking around at the empty apartment and getting a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach.

Turning around, he looked over at the archway that separated the living room and kitchen and breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Alec sat at the kitchen counter, reading a book. For some reason, he'd had the feeling that Alec had left him and that was why the place was so empty and quiet. He knew it was silly to come to that conclusion, and chastised himself for even thinking it.

He walked into the kitchen and placed his keys on the counter as he said, "hey. Listen, about earlier, I'm sorry if you were mad that I couldn't meet you for lunch. I was just really enjoying spending some time with my sister."

"I'm not mad about that," Alec said in a quiet and calm voice, surprising Magnus. He bookmarked his page in the book before closing and putting it down. He looked up at Magnus, their eyes meeting as he asked, "so you had fun with Maia today then?"

"Yeah, it was great," Magnus nodded. "She told me all about her holiday and plans for the wedding."

"How can you do that?"

"Do what?" Magnus asked, frowning in confusion.

"Look straight into my eyes and lie to me." Alec's voice had lost its calmness now, a touch of anger now in it, however he was still quiet.

"What are you tal-"

"Don't. Don't act like you have no idea what I'm talking about, Magnus Bane. You know what was funny? When I phoned you earlier, you said you were with Maia. But that's strange because Maia was in the same store as me with some of her friends."

Magnus' lips turned down in a grimace and he shook his head. "Alec, I'm sorry, I just-"

"Just what? Thought it'd be fun to lie to me?" Alec responded.

"No! No, of course not. I hated lying to you, Alec," he said quickly, upset not over the fact he had been caught out in his lie but over the fact he had hurt Alec.

"Then why do it?!" Alec finally raised his voice. "You say you want to be with me again and be in my life, but that's not going to happen if you lie to me! You lied to me about my parents... What else are you hiding from me?"

Magnus evaded himself from having to answer that question, because there were so many answers as much as he hated to admit that. "I lied to you today because I knew you'd be angry when I told you who I was really with."

"Then tell me the truth now then," Alec said flatly. "Who were you with, Magnus?"

Magnus took a deep breath before answering. "I was with Ragnor Fell."

Alec paused, his eyes wide and eyebrows frowning; clearly he hadn't been expecting that answer. "Wait a second... Ragnor Fell, as in, the Ragnor Fell we went to school with?" Magnus just simply nodded, causing Alec to hiss in a breath. "Why would you meet up with him? I'm not usually one to hold a grudge, but damn it, Magnus! After everything he said and did to me at school, hell after everything he said to you after that stupid bloody bet! What the hell is wrong with you?!"

Magnus wasn't surprised that Alec was hugely affected and angry about this. Because of the amnesia, Ragnor's behaviour at school felt recent to Alec- he didn't remember moving on and getting past it over time. "I'm sorry! Really, I am!" Magnus exclaimed. "It's not as bad as it sound though, I promise. He works for a media publication company that I'm making a business deal with. Ragnor was simply the person they sent to go through the contract with me."

Alec shook his head. "There's more to this story, isn't there?" He guessed. "Because if you were meeting him today, just for a business deal, well, I'd like to believe that you would tell me that. You kept it from me for a reason. What is it? And don't forget, I can tell when you're lying."

_'And don't forget, I can tell when you're lying'_ - That sentence didn't fail to make Magnus hesitate. That was exactly what Alec had said before the accident, in regards to the very same person. Alec had noticed Magnus was keeping a secret from him and had got it into his head that he was cheating on him. He'd said that exact same sentence when he confronted Magnus, only to be told about Ragnor.

Magnus sighed sadly, realising that it was finally time to come clean about Ragnor to Alec... again. He reached over the counter and took Alec's shaking hands in his own, brushing his thumb gently across Alec's skin. "I've been friends with him again for a while," he started. "He contacted me about a year ago to make amends for everything in high school. He's married now, and his wife made him into a better man. He apologized and I forgave him, but I didn't tell you because I thought you'd be angry at me for being friends with the guy who made high school hell for you."

"But let me guess, I found out," Alec sighed.

"Yes," Magnus nodded. "I told you eventually. You weren't mad about me being friends with Ragnor again, not really; you were mad that I hadn't told you about it. And I don't blame you. I made a mistake and went about it the wrong way, and I did the exact same thing today, and I am sorry, Alec. I'm so sorry."

Alec tugged his hands out of Magnus' grip and angrily said, "sorry doesn't make everything better, Magnus. "The fact that you lied about the same thing to me twice isn't something I can accept easily. I thought we were friends, Magnus."

"We are!"

"Friends don't lie to each other. Not like that, anyway." He stood up and looked Magnus straight in the eyes, no longer the timid teenage boy he had once been. "I'm not going to tell you to not be friends him, I have no right to do that. And frankly, I don't care about you being friends with him again- it's your choice. He's not hurting me, or you, anymore, so I guess it's okay for you to be in touch with him. I just hate that you lied to me... I'm really disappointed in you."

Magnus started crying; he couldn't help it. Telling him that he was disappointed in him was one of the worst things Alec could ever say. All Magnus wanted was to care of Alec, to surprise him and impress him, to let him know that he could always rely on him because he would never let him down. He didn't want to be a disappointment. Ever.

With tears streaming down his face, he sounded like he was the one with the mental state of a teenage boy as he sobbed, "please, Alec. Please forgive me."

Alec groaned in frustration and ran his fingers through his hair, making it messier than it usually was. "Just give me time, Magnus. Let me calm down and just give me time."

With that, he left the kitchen, leaving Magnus sat there crying, alone.

* * *

Alec stayed in his room for the rest of the day. Magnus wanted badly to go in and see if he was okay, but he did what Alec had asked for and left him alone to give him time to calm down and come to terms with Magnus' lie.

Laid on the sofa that night, Magnus was tired, but wide awake and unable to sleep. _Pathetic, _he told himself. _You're pathetic for lying to him about that again. There are so many bigger secrets you're hiding from him, but yet you still lied to him about that. No wonder he's angry at you; you don't deserve his forgiveness._

He spent the next twenty minutes wishing for sleep to come to tear him away from the mean things he was saying to himself. He didn't feel sorry for himself like others might have because he knew that Alec had every right to be angry and not forgive him.

With that thought, Magnus realised why he couldn't sleep: he needed to know whether or not he was forgiven, or whether what he'd managed to rebuild with Alec was going to come crashing down around him.

He got off the sofa and padded barefoot silently through the dark apartment, heading to the main bedroom and pushing the creaking door open. He shut it gently behind him and looked at Alec's figure through the darkness. Alec was curled up on his right side, breathing gently as he slept.

Magnus walked forward and knelt next to the bed so his face was at the same level as Alec's. He gently shook Alec's shoulder. "Alec. Alec, wake up."

His eyelids fluttered open and he looked at Magnus, barely awake. "What's wrong?"

"I couldn't sleep," Magnus admitted. "Can I sleep in the bed with you?"

He held his breath as he waited for Alec's reply. If he said yes, it meant that he forgave Magnus for lying to him, even if he was still hurt, he forgave him. But if he said no, Magnus feared that they'd never be able to get over this and things would really be ruined between them.

Alec yawned and mumbled, "fine, fine. Get in. Just don't wake me up again."

Magnus grinned. "I won't, I promise. Thanks, Alec."

He quickly got up and rushed around to the other side of the bed, getting comfy under the covers. Laid on his back, he stared up at the ceiling, but still wasn't fully relaxed.

Before he could stop himself, he rolled over and shuffled closer to Alec, wrapping his arm around Alec's waist and holding him tightly; his chest was pressed up against Alec's back and he took comfort in holding him and feeling Alec's body warmth.

Alec's body tensed for a moment and Magnus waited nervously for him to tell him to let go.

But he didn't.

After just a few seconds, he relaxed in Magnus' embrace, and soon fell asleep again.

Magnus smiled before, at last, he managed to fall asleep himself.


	11. Chapter 11

**Wow, the reviews I got on the last chapter was exactly the reaction I was hoping for, thank you! And I finally got to 100 reviews, wahoo! As a reward to you all for getting me there, you get a flashback of 'the argument'. Wooo :-)**

* * *

_Magnus lit the last candle and sat down on the sofa, taking long deep breaths, his body shaking with nerves. He had spent the past hour getting things ready for when Alec got home from the gym, and during that time he hadn't thought through why he was doing this and had put the reasoning to the back of his mind._

_Now however, all he could do was think about what he was about to do. He was desperate to keep Alec and this was the first thing he thought of that might bring his boyfriend back to him and heal their relationship. It was a step towards being more dedicated towards each other and showing how much they loved each other; perhaps it could mend them and bring them closer together, like they used to be. At least he hoped that's what would happen. He knew it could go the other way and cause Alec to leave him._

_Suddenly, he was lurched out of his thoughts by the sound of the front door slamming shut. Alec rounded the corner into the living room, looking down at his phone. He was still in the vest top and shorts he wore to the gym, and still looked quite sweaty- clearly he worked out his anger and frustrations in his workout and hadn't bothered to shower before coming home. Magnus couldn't help but think how sexy Alec looked like that, showing off his muscles and fit physique._

_Alec dropped his gym bag to the floor and finally looked up from his phone. His eyes widened and his mouth opened into an 'O' shape at the sight of the living room. The lights were switched off, but a ton of candles - far too many for anybody to count - were lit all around the room, along with red rose petals scattered about the place. Finally, he closed his mouth and looked at Magnus - who had to admit himself that he looked rather handsome in his black tux and bowtie - with an unreadable expression on his face that made Magnus even more nervous._

_"Alexander," he said, standing up from the sofa and facing his boyfriend directly. "Welcome home."_

_Alec responded in a quiet, timid voice, his eyes never looking away from Magnus'. "Magnus, what is all this?"_

_Magnus smiled and said, "I wanted to do something to make this even more memorable."_

_"Make what memorable?"_

_"Alec... I know things between us haven't exactly been perfect recently, and that's both of our faults, but I want us to get past all of that. I forgive you for what you did, and I hope that you can forgive me too. We both messed up and made mistakes, but I think if we work at it, we can make this relationship work. I want us to work out, Alec; I know that we're destined to be together. So please, please don't leave and give up on us." He got down on one knee on the floor and pulled out a small, dark purple velvet box. He opened it to reveal two identical silver wedding bands. If Alec had looked closer - which he didn't - he would have noticed that Alec's ring had 'Magnus' engraved on it, whilst Magnus' had 'Alexander' engraved on it._

_Alec started shaking his head, tears in his eyes. "What are you doing? This isn't funny. Get up, Magnus. Don't do this."_

_Magnus simply smiled again and gently said, "marry me, Alec. I want us to work things out and I want you to be my husband. I love you more than anything in the world, hell, I even love you more than glitter and sparkles," he joked with a laugh. "So marry me, baby."_

_Alec was looking at him with shock and pain written all over his face, tears now freely spilling down his cheeks endlessly. Without a word, he walked over to Magnus and cupped his cheek in his hand; Magnus leaned into the touch, gazing lovingly into the familiar blue eyes looking at him. Finally, without moving his hand, Alec spoke in a gentle tone. "I love you too, Magnus. So much that it hurts sometimes. When I'm not with you, I'm constantly thinking about you and wishing I were with you, and I can't even imagine ever being with anybody else... But this isn't right. Our relationship isn't healthy for either of us anymore; we're both hurting, and it's like the hurt is an endless torture that won't stop. Love is all that we have left... but it isn't enough."_

_"Yes, it is!" Magnus cried out, now crying also. "We love each other, that's all that matters."_

_Alec dropped his hand and shook his head. "No it isn't. What I did... I know other couples get over something like that, but I still don't deserve your forgiveness. I forgive you for what you did, I really do, but it's got to the point where the mistakes we have both made aren't things that can be forgotten so easily. I agree that we could try and work on it, but I think for now... We need some space from each other, Magnus. A marriage proposal is just... stupid, to be honest, considering the situation we're in and how much we've hurt each other."_

_Magnus' hurt quickly turned to anger, and he laughed humourlessly, shaking his head. "Stupid? So you think the fact that I want to spend the rest of my life with you is stupid? Wow, gee thanks, Alec."_

_"I didn't mean it like that," he responded. "I just meant that proposing to me isn't going to make anything better, Magnus! You hurt me! You made me feel worthless, pathetic and like I meant nothing to you."_

_"Well you did the same thing to me first!" Magnus shouted._

_"It isn't a competition to see who can hurt each other the most! And if that's really the reason you did what you did, then you're childish and need to start thinking about things before you do them!"_

_"No, you're the one that needs to do that! Oh no, wait, it's too late, you already made a damn mistake without thinking about how much you'd be hurting me!" Magnus shoved at Alec's chest, crying. "You're the one that ruined everything, Alec! Not me! You were the first one to fuck up!"_

_"Excuse me?!" Alec shouted, fuming. "You must be crazy if you really believe that! You're the one that drove me to do it, Magnus! You ignored me, and after everything that happened with Ragnor and Jem, the secrets you kept from me, you still blame me? For God's sake, Magnus, get a grip! I hate myself for what I did, but if you think you had nothing to do with why I did that, then you're delusional!"_

_"There's no excuse for what you did! You could have told me how you felt, you could have shouted at me and threatened to leave me; that's what you should have done, because then we'd get past it like we get past everything that's thrown at us. But you didn't. You chose to do that to me, nobody else forced you to make that decision, Alec."_

_"And there we have it," Alec exclaimed with a loud sigh. "You lied earlier. You can't forgive me, you can't get past it, as much as you want to."_

_"You know what? I could forgive you, Alec, but you're giving up on us so easily! Damn it!" He threw the now closed velvet box containing the two rings across the room, watching as it hit the wall before falling to the floor. He looked back at Alec, sobbing as he quietly said, "I thought I meant more to you. I thought you'd stick around, fight for us, but you're not doing that. You're just giving up on us."_

_"Magnus, I've been sticking around and fighting for us for a while now but you failed to notice that because you were so wrapped up in your secrets and lies. I'm not giving up on us... I'm just tired. I'm exhausted of this heartache and fighting, and I don't think I can handle it anymore. I'm going to fall apart, I'm going to break down and lose it if we stay together... And I think you will too. And you know that, you just won't admit it to yourself."_

_"You're wrong," Magnus shook his head. "Staying together is the best thing for us. It's going to make me stronger, not weaker. I love you... And unlike you, I'm not giving up on our love that easily."_

_"Were you not listening to me just then?" Alec raised his voice again, running his fingers through his hair in frustration. "I'm not giving up on us! I just think we should take a break for a while and then try and talk this through once we've both calmed down and been away from each other for a bit!"_

_"Well I don't want that!" Magnus shouted angrily. "If you think we should take a break, we might as well break up for good. Maybe you're right, that is what's best for us."_

_"Magnus-"_

_"No, Alec! Just get out! Go on then, leave! I guess we can't get over this then, I guess we're finished!"_

_Alec stared at Magnus in silence for a long moment. Then, he picked up his gym bag and turned around and walked away. It was only when Magnus heard the front door close that he realised what he had actually just said. He ran to the door, pulled it open and saw Alec walking down the corridor._

_"Alec, wait!" He shouted. Alec stopped, but didn't turn around. "I didn't mean that. Please don't let this be the end of us, I am begging you. Baby, please, don't leave me."_

_Alec turned around and looked down the corridor at Magnus. He shrugged and said, "I don't know what's right for us anymore. I don't know what we should do. It's got to the point where I'm doubting our future together and that kills me, Magnus." He paused for a moment and sighed. "I'm going to stay at Jace's tonight. I'll... I might come back tomorrow so we can talk about this. I just need time."_

_He turned around and started walking again, stepping into the elevator as one of their neighbours stepped out and disappearing from Magnus' view._

_As Magnus went back into the apartment and shut the door behind him, he started crying even more as he suddenly got the feeling that was the last time he would ever see his Alec again._

Magnus woke up in an empty bed, the remnants of his dream - a flashback of '_the_ argument' - still fresh in his mind. He took a few deep breaths, managing not to cry like he usually did every time he thought of that evening. He blinked, fluttering his eyelashes as he opened his eyes fully, taking in the bright bedroom light.

He turned his head to the side, wondering why Alec wasn't still in bed with him, and was rewarded with the sight of Alec stood in front of the wardrobe with his back to Magnus, wearing nothing but a clean pair of dark blue boxers. Magnus eyed the contours of Alec's back and the delicious shape of his strong shoulder-blades and was overcome with a sense of lust; he literally had to force himself to stay in the bed and not pounce on Alec and terrifying the living daylights out of him.

He didn't move or say anything, not wanting Alec to know he was awake just yet. For one, he was rather enjoying the sight, and two, he didn't know whether Alec would mention last night or not and didn't know what he would say if he did mention it. As Alec bent forward to put on his jeans, a cheeky smirk grew across Magnus' face. _What a glorious sight to wake up to, _he thought to himself in a lustful awe.

Once the jeans were on, Alec turned around and saw that Magnus was awake. His new stance allowed Magnus to see the amazingly muscled chest that Magnus always used to say was carved by the Gods. Magnus licked his lips and again had to physically restrain himself from not jumping out of bed and to the other man. "You're awake," Alec stated the obvious. "Good. I was going to wake you up in a few minutes anyway. Will you get up and get dressed, please?"

"Okay," Magnus said slowly. "Where are we going? Anywhere exciting?"

Alec scoffed. "Hardly. We're going to my parents' house with Max, I can't just sit back and not say anything to them."

"Alec, I don't think arguing with them is going to resolve the issues they have with you and your brother."

"I'm not going to argue with them," he rolled his eyes and pulled on a black t-shirt. "We're going to sit down and have a mature conversation with them and try to get them to understand that they're in the wrong here, not us, and certainly not Max. Oh, and do me a favour will you?"

"What?" Magnus smiled.

"Where something extra sparkly or glittery; you know, something extra camp. Just to make my parents uncomfortable and piss them off," he grinned.

"Certainly, Alexander," Magnus laughed and threw the covers off him, getting out of the bed. "By the way, thanks for last night and letting me stay in the bed."

"Well it is meant to be your bed as well," Alec shrugged. "Anyway, I didn't really mind that much. I slept better with you there," his cheeks blushed red.

"Good. I did too, just for the record," he admitted, smiling warmly at Alec, before leaving the bedroom to go and get ready.

* * *

Robert was sat on the chair, whilst Maryse stood behind him. Jace and Isabelle had arrived to support their brothers and were stood in front of the window. Alec, Max and Magnus were on the sofa, sat right at the very edge of their seats as if preparing themselves to flee at a second's notice.

"Wow," Jace was the first to break the silence. "You can practically feel the awkward."

"Jace," Maryse chastised him. "Alec, sweetheart, you said you wanted to talk to us. What's wrong?"

"Oh, please," Isabelle scoffed, but nobody paid attention her.

"You know what's wrong," Alec said calmly. "Don't act stupid, mother, it doesn't suit you. Let me ask you something: when you found out I had amnesia, you pretended everything was perfect and like you weren't ashamed of me. Why?"

"I'm not ashamed of you," she said softly. "You're my son and I love you; I missed you. I was just trying to make amends and be in your life again."

"But that doesn't make sense," he carried on. "Because if that was the truth, you wouldn't have been so angry at Max for being bisexual. You would have accepted him and not wanted history to repeat itself. I don't know why you have such a problem with our sexuality."

"Because it's just not right," Robert responded harshly. "You are my sons and I will love you no matter what, but I am... Well, frankly, I am disgusted. I thought I raised you better than this, I thought I raised you to be good men. Apparently you don't care about your mother and I at all, otherwise you would have turned out right like Jace did."

Magnus had told himself to sit there quietly and let the family deal with their problems alone, but Robert's words infuriated him and he knew there was no way he could stay silent. "Excuse me, Mr Lightwood," he said. "But clearly you don't know your children at all. Alec _is_ a good man; he's brilliant and talented. And Max is growing up to be just as amazing as his brother. The only man I see in here that isn't a good man, is _you. _As a father, you should know not to compare your children to each other like that, it can effect them in ways you can't even imagine. And, as a father, you should accept your children for who they are, whether they are gay, straight, fat, thin, ugly, handsome, whatever.

When I told my parents I was gay, they were fine with it. They didn't make a big deal of it because they knew that I was still the same old Magnus they knew and loved.

I honestly don't know how you have the nerve to sit here and say that about your own children. You sicken me, to be honest."

"How dare you!" Robert spat out. "How dare you come into my home and speak to me like that, I simply won't allow it. Who do you think you are, telling me how to be a father? You have no right!"

"Yes, he does," Alec butted in angrily. "He's my boyfriend and he is the one who has had to hold me while I cried over my parents' rejection! Magnus has been there for me more than you have. Where were you when I was in a bloody coma, dad? You weren't there, were you? No, you and mum didn't visit me once. I could have died and you weren't even there. But Magnus was. So, considering he is always there for me when I need him and you're not, I think he has _every_ right to defend Max and me. And you know what? Magnus is right! You don't know us at all and you sicken _me_ as well."

Magnus would have preferred to admit that his thrilled shock was at seeing Robert go deathly pale as he fell silent and listened to his son's words, but in fact, his thrilled shock was at hearing Alec call him his boyfriend. That was the first time he had done so ever since the accident and it warmed Magnus' heart.

"Well, I'm sorry you feel that way, son," Robert said, clearing his throat. "But it simply just isn't true. I was brought up to believe that homosexuality is wrong, and I am not changing my beliefs. Max, Alexander, I love you both dearly and I don't want to lose you from my life, but this is just something I can't accept. Alec, I know you came here hoping for a different result, but it just isn't going to happen."

Magnus looked down at Max to see him with his head in his hands, his shoulders shaking as he cried. He didn't blame him for crying- Alec had done the same thing years ago when Robert and Maryse said they couldn't accept him being gay. "Alec." Alec looked over at Magnus, who nodded down at Max. "We should go."

Alec nodded and said, "come on, Max. We're going home." The three of them stood up and Alec wrapped an arm around his younger brother before looking at Robert and Maryse. "Max can stay with us for as long as he wants. If you come to your senses, just give us a call, I'm sure we could sit down and listen to you apologize. Goodbye."

He led Max and Magnus out of the living room of the Lightwood house and into the hallway. Just as they were opening the front door, they heard Isabelle snap, "you'll be lucky if you don't lose all of us after this. I can't believe you both. Don't look at me like that, dad: you know I'll always take Alec and Max's side."

A moment later, Isabelle and Jace left the room to leave the house with Magnus, Alec and Max. "They'll come around, Max," Jace said as Isabelle slammed the front door behind them. "They'll come around and apologize so they don't lose all their children. And if they don't... Well, it's their loss, not yours. You still get to see my beautiful face around; lucky you," he grinned cheekily.


	12. Chapter 12

**I'm sorry the update has taken so long. That's because of a number of reasons:  
1. Compared to the number I usually get, I didn't get that much reviews on the last chapter which honestly made me feel kinda rubbish to be honest, and made my confidence slip a little because it felt like no one liked the chapter at all.  
2. I'm back at college now so I'm quite busy with coursework; I'll probably only be able to update about once a week from now on.  
3. I've had a case of writer's block and really struggled with this chapter.**

**The main point of this chapter was to show that Magnus is doubting himself and knows he has to tell Alec the truth soon; I hope I portrayed that well.**

**If you have any ideas of what could happen in a future chapter, please do let me know in a comment or PM. If it fits into what I have planned, and I like the idea, I'll try and add it into the story, of course giving you credit for the idea. I'm asking this because it might make the story a little longer if I have things to fill chapters with that aren't part of the proper main plot if that makes sense.**

**I hope you like this chapter.**

**Charlotte xo**

* * *

A week passed uneventfully and nothing much happened. Max was still staying with the couple and there had been no contact with their parents, which Alec knew upset Max, but the boy wouldn't admit that. Magnus had gone away for three days for a dance competition that some of his students were taking part in, but he had made sure to phone Alec at least twice a day. When he told Alec he'd do that before he left, Alec had rolled his eyes and said he only had to phone once, but he'd found himself actually praying for Magnus to phone every hour because he missed him. He tried to distract himself by working on his book, but everywhere in the apartment reminded him that Magnus wasn't there and he didn't like that. He barely slept at night without Magnus beside him, and he was so excited for Magnus to get home and let his sparkly enthusiasm over everything brighten up the place again.

Magnus had been due back an hour ago, but had called to say he would be late because he was stuck in traffic. Disappointed, Alec had had to make a few calls to make his plans for later on in the evening instead. He cleaned up a little before sitting down on the sofa and drumming his fingers against his leg in an impatient gesture.

Closing his eyes, he suddenly saw an image of Magnus dressed smartly in a tux, sat on the sofa and smiling at him with candle flames flickering around him like fairy lights trying to get his attention. His eyes shot open and he shook his head to shake away the image, wondering why something random and irrelevant like that had come into his mind.

He couldn't put much more thought into it because at that moment he heard the front door open, then slam shut. He shot to his feet and rounded the corner into the hallway. Magnus was locking the door behind him and his two suitcases - according to him even those weren't enough for three days - were leaning against the wall. Magnus was wearing some tight light blue denim jeans, purple converse and a purple woolly jumper with a sparkly cat on the front.

He turned around and saw Alec stood there. "Hey," he grinned.

Alec grinned back and stepped towards him before throwing his arms around the other man and squeezing tightly. After a second's shocked hesitation, he felt Magnus wrap his arms around his waist and hold him tightly too. "I missed you," Alec said quietly into Magnus' ear.

They pulled apart but kept their hands on each other's waists. "Really?" Magnus asked.

"Of course," Alec nodded. "I didn't think I'd miss you as much as I did. You're my best friend... And my boyfriend... And I missed you. I know it's only been three days and we talked every day but-"

"No, I get it," Magnus interrupted him. "I missed you too, Alexander."

"Good," he laughed. "Are you tired from the journey at all?"

"Not really, why?"

"We have reservations at a restaurant. Max is coming too, and I've also invited: Jace and Clary, Izzy and Will, Maia and Jordan, and your parents. I remember you saying you hadn't seen your parents in a while and missed them so..." His voice trailed off and he looked at Magnus hopefully, wishing he liked his idea.

Magnus' smile grew and he nodded. "Sounds great. Thanks, Alec. Help me get my suitcases into the bedroom then we'll start getting ready."

Once the suitcases were in the bedroom, Magnus said, "I still can't believe that my dancers won every award they were competing for. I'm so proud of them."

"It's yourself you should be proud of," Alec pointed out. "You're the one that choreographed it all and you're the one that taught them how to dance at that level and be that good."

Magnus shrugged and said, "I'm still proud of them, although I do agree it's all down to amazing me that they did so well."

The men both laughed then Alec said, "I'll go and tell Max to start getting ready. I told him that he could invite his boyfriend if he wanted, but he chose not to. We don't even know what this guy's called or what he's like or anything. I hope he doesn't hurt Max."

"There's nothing you can do about it," Magnus said gently. "Max is at that age where if you tell him not to date someone, it'll make him want to be with him even more. I don't want him to get hurt either but if he does, that's life. He's never going to learn if you don't let him make his own choices and mistakes... Why don't we talk to him tonight while we're at the restaurant? Just tell him that we want to meet his boyfriend, see what he's like. Then we can judge the guy and decide whether or not he's good enough for Max."

"Nobody's good enough for Max," Alec replied bitterly.

"I love it when you get protective over your brother, it's adorable," Magnus laughed. "Go on, go tell him to start getting ready."

* * *

Alec laughed as Magnus yet again ran his fingers through his hair, only to pull it away and have glitter stuck to the skin of his palm like the last time. Despite this though, Magnus refused to promise not to wear that much glitter in his hair again, which simply made Alec roll his eyes.

They were having quite a good evening. It was great to have everybody there, talking and laughing and enjoying spending time together. Michael and Jemima, Magnus' parents, had seemed thrilled to see that Alec was well after the accident, and Alec envied how effortless it was to them to be close to their son and accept that he was gay, unlike his own parents. He wished that Robert and Maryse could be like that, but he knew there was very little chance of that happening, which he couldn't deny saddened him.

They were all sat at the biggest table in the restaurant. Maia was telling Isabelle and Clary the story of how Jordan proposed; Max and Jace were talking about a new action movie that was in the cinemas; Jordan was discussing business with Michael, and Jemima had just turned to talk to Magnus and Alec who were sat together at the end of the table.

"You know, it's so great to see you two happy again compared to the last time I saw you," she gushed. "I really do think you're perfect for each other, it was horrible seeing you mad at each other."

Magnus' hand paused in mid-air, his fork having some of his food on. His eyes widened and his face froze as Alec asked, "what do you mean? We weren't happy together?"

Before Jemima could speak again, Magnus forced a laugh. "Mum we were only arguing about which new curtains we should get for the apartment, you make it sound like it was something horrible."

Jemima's eyes flashed with realization - Magnus had told her over the phone about his troubles with not telling Alec the whole truth - and she laughed. "Ah, I've certainly had an argument about something pointless like that plenty of times. So Alec dear, how's the book coming along?"

And so, the conversation returned to normal with no talk of Alec and Magnus' relationship before the accident again, much to Magnus' relief. He was ashamed with what it had grown to be like and prayed that this second chance didn't ruin things for them because he truly believed they belonged together.

Saying that though, he knew that he had been keeping the truth a secret from Alec for far too long. His reasoning for doing so had been perfectly acceptable, but he knew they could never truly move on unless Alec knew everything about who he had been before the accident. He didn't want to confess to him everything that happened, but he knew that he had to; it wasn't fair on Alec to not know.

He just needed to think of the perfect time to tell him.

"Why not?" Alec's voice broke through his thoughts. "Max, I just want to meet him, it's no big deal."

"But it is a big deal!" Max protested. "I really like him, Alec, I don't want to spoil things between I met his brother, his brother didn't like me and tried to get Elias to split up with me. I don't want you to dislike him and try and split us up."

"I wouldn't do that," Alec said gently. "Elias is important to you, I understand that, I really do. Which is why I want to meet him."

"Alec is right," Magnus interrupted. "We just want to meet him and see what he's like. Just think, he'll be able to come over to the apartment sometimes once we've met him, you won't have to sneak around like you did at your parents' house. We promise to be nice to him. Come on, Max. Please?"

Max sighed in exasperation and said, "fine! I don't know why you want to meet him so badly, but whatever. I'll bring him round one day this week, for God's sake."

Alec smiled. "Thank you," he said. "So, what's he like?"

"Alec. Can't we just stop talking about this? Please?" Max begged, blushing bright red, looking even more like his older brother.

"Fine," Alec laughed; Max breathed a sigh of relief before turning around to talk to Jace. Alec looked up at Magnus and frowned as he asked, "is everything okay? You look bothered about something."

He shook his head. "I'm okay, guess I was more tired from the drive than I thought."

"You sure?"

Magnus looked into Alec's eyes - which he never failed to find unusually stunning - and sighed. Yet again, he was lying to his boyfriend and he'd had enough of it. Again, he shook his head. "I've just been thinking about a lot of things, and it's getting me really worked up; I feel like my head's going to explode with how terrible I feel because of it all."

"Well, that doesn't sound good..." Alec said, clearly starting to get worried. His hand found Magnus' under the table and he linked their fingers together, giving a little reassuring squeeze. "You can talk to me about it, you know. Don't let it all just build up, otherwise you really will crack and explode. You can tell me anything."

"I know I can, baby," Magnus replied, the term of endearment slipping from his mouth effortlessly. Thankfully, Alec didn't seem bothered by it. "It's just one of those things that you have to build up the courage to talk about, and I just don't feel ready yet."

"Okay, that's understandable," he said gently. "Just remember that when you are ready to talk, I'm here."

"I will do," Magnus smiled sadly. "I promise I'll tell you. Soon." His heart lurched painfully at the thought.


	13. Chapter 13

**Thank you for the reviews on the last chapter, it was so great to hear your opinions and know that you're all still enjoying the story! It boosted my confidence a little again, so huge thank you.**

**The next chapter will include Magnus and Alec meeting Elias (Max's boyfriend), so if there's anything you'd like to see in that meeting, please just leave it in a review and if I like it, I'll use it and give you credit for it :-)**

* * *

In the morning, Magnus quickly got ready and headed down to his studio for an early dance lesson he was teaching. The class consisted of five girls and just one boy, so it was sometimes a struggle to choreograph perfect dances for them, but he had to get this one just right because they were competing at a local competition in only three days.

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose before shaking his head and saying to the kids, "no, no, no. You look sloppy, you're not moving together; it's not going to work if you continue like this. Go take a ten minute break and when we come back in, I expect you to do it again, and this time, dance in unison just like I've asked please."

The class dismissed, they rushed into the changing rooms whilst Magnus made his way out to the front office, where his receptionist was sat reading a magazine. "Aline," he said. "Could you phone Delaney Reese's parents and ask why she wasn't in her ballet lesson this morning? It's the fourth one she's missed in a row and I'm getting sick of it."

"Of course," she nodded. "Shall I ask her mother to come in for a meeting with you to discuss it?"

"No, tell her that this is her warning and remind her that if Delaney can't make it to a lesson for some reason, she needs to calls us. I'll have a meeting with her if it continues."

"Okay!" She chirped. Aline was always such a positive person, her energy rivaling Magnus', and was always polite to even the worst of the dance moms. "Oh, I almost forgot. Whilst you were teaching, James Carstairs and Maryse Lightwood both called; I asked if they'd like to leave a message and they both said just to get you to call back."

"Right, thanks," he replied quickly with a brisk nod. "Wait... What? Jem and Maryse? Are you sure?" He couldn't believe it. After everything that had happened, those were two of the people he least expected to contact him- he had no idea why they had.

"Yep," said Aline.

Magnus again said thanks and went back into the studio room he had been teaching in, still utterly confused as to why either of them would call him. When the class came back in, he tried to focus on teaching but the confusion was still strong in his mind, and he was desperate to call them both back. He excused himself for a moment, leaving his assistant choreographer to watch over the rehearsals.

He went into his office and exhaustively wished he could just collapse onto his red sofa. Instead, he sat down in his black leather chair and picked up his bright red phone, dialling Jem's number; he knew it by heart, just like he knew a lot of numbers by heart, simply because he was brilliant at remembering numbers. The phone rang five times before Jem answered it. "Hey, Jem," Magnus said. "My receptionist said that you called. I was just wondering why."

He heard the other man sigh. "You didn't return my calls after Alec's accident, and I just wanted to make sure everything's okay."

"He's fine. But he has amnesia," Magnus admitted softly to his old friend.

"Amnesia? How much has he forgotten?"

"Only about five years of his life," Magnus replied bitterly. "He doesn't remember falling in love with me again. But on a more positive note, he's still living with me and we're getting along really well. He's just started calling me his boyfriend again."

Jem was silent for a long minute. "So you're still with him?" He asked, worry and hurt in his voice.

"Yes. He doesn't remember what happened and I haven't told him yet."

"So? Magnus, you still remember what happened though, don't you? How does Alec not remembering change what he did to you? I can't believe you'd forgive him just like that and-"

"Jem," Magnus interrupted him. "I'm really not in the mood for this. I love Alec, I'm not giving up on him."

"But Mags, I saw you the night he told you what happened. You were so broken, like you'd just given up entirely on your life. It wasn't healthy to be that upset, it made me realise that maybe you relied on your love for Alec far too much. Love doesn't heal everything, you know. It can't change the past."

"No, but it can change the future," Magnus argued. "Jem, this is mine and Alec's chance to have another try at our relationship and fix things so that we can have a good and happy future together. I'm going to tell Alec about everything that happened eventually, and he'll forgive me and agree that we're good together, and we'll work on our relationship."

"You don't know that that's how it'll go," Jem continued. "Have you listened to yourself? You sound so... Young and naive. Alec wanted to leave you before the accident, what makes you think he'll change his mind about that now? Magnus, you're one of my best friends, I'm just trying to look out for you."

"Why does it feel like everybody is trying to split us up?" Magnus moaned with a sigh.

"They're not," Jem sighed also. "I want you to be happy, and before the accident, you weren't happy with Alec. Not really. I think you're fooling yourself just because you're scared of letting go and experiencing life without Alec."

"I don't want to experience life without him."

"I know, Magnus, I know. And I'm not saying that you two should split up, it's entirely your decision and I'll support you like a good friend would whatever you decide to do, I'm just telling you not to get your hopes up like that and stop deluding yourself that everything will be perfect. Even if Alec says he does still want to be with you after he knows everything, you're still going to have to work hard to get everything right."

Magnus held back his tears and knew that Jem was just trying to be an honest friend and that he was speaking words of wisdom and truth. "You're right," he said finally. "You want to know the truth? I'm scared, Jem. Absolutely petrified that he'll leave me, or remember that he wanted to leave me, and decide that I'm not good enough for him. I don't condone what he did, but in a way I drove Alec to do that with my behaviour and attitude... What if he leaves me, Jem?"

"Then I'll get on the first plane back to England to be their for my best friend," Jem promised. "You won't be alone, Mags. You'll get through this."

"Thank you," Magnus said through the lump that had formed in his throat. "I should probably go. I have another call to make, then I need to get back to work."

"Okay," said Jem. "Well make sure to call me whenever you need me. I don't care about the time difference, okay?"

"Okay," Magnus smiled. "Thanks, Jem. See you later."

"Bye," Jem said before hanging up.

Magnus took a moment to compose himself. Jem was right: he was deluding himself. Deep down, he knew that there was a large possibility he would lose Alec, but he had been telling himself that it would never happen, that their time together after the accident would make everything better... But that was a lie. And he'd made the outcome of this probably much more worse by keeping the secrets from Alec for so long.

He decided not to dwell on this and think about it in depth right now; he'd spent the whole night doing that and prevented himself from getting any sleep. Instead, he picked the phone up again and dialled Maryse's number, a frown on his face as he expected another argument with her.

"Hello?" Maryse picked the phone up in her posh voice.

"Maryse, it's Magnus. My receptionist said you called?"

"Um... Yes, I did... Excuse me," he heard her say the last bit to someone on the other end. "Magnus, hi. Um..." It was strange to hear her stuttering considering she was always straight forward with her words and never nervous about what she had to say.

"What is it?" Magnus sighed. "Can we make it quick please? I have to get back to work."

"Yes, yes, of course. I do too actually."

"So, why were you calling?"

"Well... I know that you're living with Alec and Max so obviously you've been talking to them and you know what's going on with them. I was just wondering... Do you think there's any possibility they'll forgive me? That they'll let me back into their lives?"

Magnus raised his eyebrows and was silent for a moment in his shock at hearing the words he definitely had not been expecting. Finally, he spoke. "Maryse, I really think that's something you should discuss with them."

"I know that," she replied. "I just want to know what to expect."

"What to expect? They feel betrayed by you; they feel like their own mother doesn't love them, so you should expect them to be pretty damn surprised and maybe even a little angry."

"But I do love them," she protested, pain in her voice. "If I come by to your place this evening, do you think they'd let me in and talk to me?"

"I do," he spoke honestly. "Because even though they feel like you don't love them, they still love you and I think they'd be willing to give you another chance, but only because you're their mum. Are you being serious about wanting to be in their life again?"

Maryse didn't hesitate with her answer. "Yes."

"Well come over this evening then," said Magnus. "I hope you're not going to mess about with them again. You need to apologize, tell them exactly how you feel. Be honest. They'll be able to tell if you lie to them and they won't appreciate it."

"I know. Thank you, Magnus."

They said a rather awkward goodbye to each other before hanging up. "Well that was strange," Magnus mumbled to himself, referring to both of the unexpected phone calls that surprisingly neither of which had been bad like he'd predicted they would be.

He pushed his chair back and stood up, before heading back into the room where his class had - hopefully - been rehearsing the dance and done as he asked.

* * *

"She said what?" Max asked. He and Alec were on the sofa whilst Magnus sat on the coffee table, facing the two Lightwood's. "She's coming over here? Why?"

"I think she wants to apologize," Magnus shrugged. "I wasn't expecting it either, but this is what you were both hoping for, isn't it? To give her some time, and for her to come around. She sounded genuine on the phone, I think you should give her a chance to talk, but it's up to you."

"But after everything her and dad said," spoke Alec, "I can't believe that she'd change her mind on her life views so quickly. It makes no sense."

"I know," Magnus nodded in agreement. "But everybody deserves a second chance." A knock on the apartment door interrupted their conversation. "That's probably your mum now. I'll go and let her in."

When Magnus came back into the room again a moment later, Alec was shocked by the sight of his mother. Usually, Maryse had a well-kept appearance with her suits, neat and slick hair, and carefully applied light make-up, but today she looked like an entirely different person. She was wearing a loose sweatshirt, baggy jeans and trainers, her hair was messily tied back, and she had no make-up on to hide her bloodshot and puffy eyes that made her look like she hadn't slept for a while and had been crying a lot very recently.

Alec felt pity for her straight away. Clearly, she wasn't as strong as she liked to act and clearly this whole thing had affected her just as much as it had Max and Alec. "Mum," he said. "It's nice to see you again."

Maryse smiled weakly and said, "it's nice to you both as well."

"Why don't you sit down Maryse?" Magnus said, gesturing towards the leather chair near the sofa. "I'll go into the bedroom, give you three some family time alone to talk things through," he added as he started to walk in that direction. He stopped however, when Alec reached out and grabbed his wrist.

"No, please stay," he said. "I want you to stay."

Magnus hesitated a moment until he saw the pleading look in Alec's eyes that said he needed him for support. "Okay." He sat on the sofa between Alec and Max, smiling when Alec took hold of his hand and linked their fingers together.

Alec looked at Maryse. "Magnus said that you wanted to talk to us."

"Yes," Maryse nodded. "The thing is, boys... I've left your father."


	14. Chapter 14

**I know it's been a while, I'm sorry. And I know that with this story I've been terrible with updates, so if you're still sticking with the story and reading it, you're amazing and I love you. I haven't been able to update because I had problems with my internet, then I was so busy with college coursework (and it was my 18th birthday in February, woo) so I didn't really have time to update.  
I hope you like this chapter! Please leave reviews if you're still reading and enjoying the story, it means so much to me xo**

* * *

For a moment, Alec was speechless. His mum had left his dad? It just didn't seem real. Of course he was aware that people split up and got divorced all the time but he never even considered the possibility that his parents would be in that percentage of people. His parents were the sort of couple that were always 'him and her' not 'just him' or 'just her'. They were the sort of couple that you imagined would always be together, would stick by each other's side through everything, and you simply never thought about the fact they might split up.

Alec gulped, his palm sweating in Magnus' hand as he looked up at the woman who looked like a stranger but was actually his mother. He couldn't comprehend the thought of his parents not being together, so to make sure he heard correctly, he asked, "you've left dad?"

"Yes," Maryse said sadly, nodding her head slowly. "I gave him a choice: either stop being homophobic, or we were finished. He told me that he didn't think he could ever get past yours and Max's sexuality's, so I made him move out."

Max, who until that point had remained silent without giving any indication as to how he was feeling, said, "but you're homophobic too, mum. You hate us as well."

"I don't hate you, Max. I could never hate you," her voice shook with emotion. "Neither does your father, he just doesn't understand or want to change. I'll admit that at first I wasn't okay with Alec being gay and you being bisexual, but I'm willing to change and I hope you'll give me the chance to. I would rather change my ways and opinions than lose all of my children. I've had time to think and get used to it, and I accept you for who you are now."

"But dad doesn't?"

"I'm afraid not, Max. I don't know if Robert will ever change, he'll always been such a stubborn man used to getting his own way. He never likes to admit that he's in the wrong and this is a prime example of that. He loves you and he doesn't want to lose any of you, but he's strict about his opinions and I don't think he can ever accept that you're different to how he wanted you to be."

"Are you getting a divorce or do you think you'll be able to forgive him and give him another chance?" Alec asked. Right now, he hated his dad and he knew that hate was a strong word but that's how he felt. But even with that in mind, he still couldn't believe that his parents were splitting up. They were his parents, they were supposed to be together! People weren't supposed to be married for this long, and then get divorced. What was the point? "If he changed his opinions about us, by some miracle, would you give him another chance?" He hoped and he prayed that his mother would say yes, simply because he was struggling with the idea of his parents divorcing.

Maryse hesitated, clearly seeing how much this had upset her son and wanting to protect him from the truth. But she knew that honesty was the best policy, so when she answered, all she gave him was the truth. "No, Alec. I'm sorry but I don't think I can give him another chance. Truthfully, things haven't been well between your father and I for a while now but I've stayed with him and tried to work at the marriage for as long as I can... Sometimes people just aren't supposed to be together, no matter how much they love each other. Sometimes it's healthier for both of them if they go their separate ways. I know that isn't what you want to hear, but I just don't think Robert and I can make it work anymore. Him rejecting Max was the last straw for me, I couldn't handle it anymore. I tried to be a good wife, be the kind of wife he wanted me to be: which was to agree with most things he said, which is why I was so quick not to accept Max as being bisexual. But when Jace and Isabelle were so angry it made me realise that my children are more important than anything else and I am so sorry it took me so long to realise that."

"But what's going to happen now?" Alec asked dejectedly.

Maryse smiled a little. "I have no idea. And that's strange for me- normally I have everything planned out right to the very last detail, but this time I have nothing. It's an unusual feeling. The first thing I'm going to do after leaving here today is go and visit both Jace and Isabelle and tell them everything I've told you. After that... Well, who knows? I was hoping Max would move back home, but I understand if he doesn't want to just yet." She looked at Max hopefully.

Alec looked at his little brother, who was looking back at Maryse with a silent, almost scared, expression on his face. Alec knew Max well enough to know that expression: he wanted to say no, but was worried about upsetting his mother. So Alec answered for him. "I don't think that's appropriate right now. We're still hurt over everything that happened, mum, so I think Max should stay here with us a little longer. It was only supposed to be a temporary stay anyway - although we didn't mind how long he stayed - but I think you need to be patient with us. If in a few weeks or so we feel like we're building a proper relationship with you again, I'm sure Max would certainly reconsider moving back home."

Max gave Alec a thankful look and nodded his head. "Yeah, I don't want to yet. But maybe in the future."

"I understand," Maryse nodded, smiling at her sons. "It's so lovely to see you both so close to each other, just like brothers should be. Does this mean that you're going to give me a chance to prove how sorry I am and to be in your lives again?"

Max and Alec shared a look and in unison answered, "okay." Alec then said, "but I mean it when I say that this is your last chance, mum."

"I understand," she repeated, tears welling up in her eyes as the smile grew on her. "Thank you."

* * *

In bed that night - wrapped up in bright sparkly yellow sheets seeing as the usual ones were in the wash - Alec and Magnus were laid on their sides, untouching. From the moonlight streaming in through the windows, they could just see each other and were laid looking at each other, both silent. Like he had been plenty of times before, Magnus was struck by Alec's beauty and thought that it just wasn't fair for one person to be so good looking. He was vain enough to admit that he was rather good looking himself, but knew that he had nothing on Alec. In his opinion, Alec was the most beautiful man in the world. No scratch that, the most beautiful man in the universe- if there were aliens out there, ones from monsters to some of the amazing ones you'd see on Doctor Who, they still wouldn't be as beautiful as Alec. And he reckoned it should be illegal for anyone to think otherwise.

"What are you thinking about?" Alec whispered into the otherwise silent bedroom.

Magnus, who also didn't talk above a whisper because it felt like it might ruin the moment, smiled. "Just about how beautiful you are." When Alec rolled his eyes, he said, "I'm being honest, Alec. That's what I was thinking about."

"Whatever," Alec smirked. "Today was... Eventful."

"Yeah, it was," Magnus agreed. "I never got a chance to ask you how you felt about your parents' divorcing because of Max being there..."

Alec sighed. "Well, I'm not thrilled about it. And my mum clearly isn't either; she looked like a trainwreck. I can't imagine them not being together anymore, it's just weird."

"But you can't force them to be together," he replied softly.

"I know. I know. And I know that it's probably for the best because they obviously weren't happy together anymore, and everybody deserves to be happy. It's sad that they can't work things out in their marriage, that this is the only option left for them, and it's horrible that my dad still can't see past my sexuality and just love me for who I am... But I'm also happy in a way, because I've got my mum back and I think things will be okay now, I think that for once I might be able to be close to her again."

"That makes sense. Having your mum back in your life is better than having no parents at all."

"That's true."

They fell silent for a moment again, but it wasn't awkward, more just a silence caused by none of them not knowing what to say exactly. Magnus decided to change the subject by saying, "I was thinking, that because things have been so hard recently, we deserve a break from it all and we should go away for a few days." This was something Magnus had been thinking about a lot quite recently, and he had decided that when they went away, when they were separate from the rest of the world and were in a more relaxed environment, he would tell Alec the truth. About everything. He didn't want to and he was scared of losing Alec, but he knew it was something he had to do.

"Where to?"

"Remember the house in the countryside we went to when we were younger? The one both of our families went to five years ago, where we fell in love with each other and found our friendship again?" Magnus smiled.

"Yeah, but things also fell apart there," Alec reminded him.

"So? The good memories outweigh the bad, Alexander. I think it'd be nice to go there for a few days."

"So my parents still own the place?" Alec raised his eyebrows. "Huh. I didn't think it'd even still be standing considering how old it is."

"Well, it's still in quite good condition actually," said Magnus. "But no, your parents don't own it anymore. We do."

"What?"

"Yeah," Magnus chuckled. "Robert decided to sell it because him and Maryse never went there anymore- they didn't take any holidays there again after what happened five years ago. Both you and me couldn't stand the thought of somebody else living there and taking away our memories there, so we bought it off your father and we go there for a mini-break at least twice a year."

"Wow," Alec smiled. "Well I'm glad we decided to buy it. You're right, I wouldn't want anybody else living there."

"Exactly. So, what do you say? A few days away, just me and you?"

Alec hesitated, then sighed. "I don't think we should, not right now anyway. We're supposed to be meeting Elias tomorrow, and I don't want to go away as soon as we've made up with my mum. And where would Max go? I don't think he'd want to go back to my mum's house."

"Well, I thought about that. He could just stay with Jace and Clary for a few days until we get back," Magnus pointed out.

"Mmm, I guess," Alec said slowly. "How about we stay here for another week, just while things settle down, and then we'll go?"

"I can settle for that," Magnus smiled. "One week. And then it'll be just the two of us."

_One week_, Magnus thought to himself. _I have one week left before Alec will probably decide to break up with me because of my secrets. Only one week._


	15. Chapter 15

_Who's seen the second movie trailer? Wow, oh my god, I screamed! I'm so excited! Godfrey and Kevin are just perfect as Magnus and Alec :')_

_So, this chapter is them finally meeting Elias, as well as a little more mystery about Magnus' secrets, oooh. I haven't written the next chapter yet but I thought you'd all love to know that the next chapter will be solely Magnus and Alec in it, and will be lovey-dovey. They may even finally kiss in this story ;)_

_Please please please leave reviews again, I love reading them! xo_

* * *

Alec had spent most of the morning in Waterstone's, Barnes & Nobles and various other bookstores and had purchased seven new books altogether; he had been desperate for some new material to read for a few days now and was excited to start reading his new books.

Re-entering the apartment building they lived in, he noticed Joshua and a female employee sat behind the main desk. Joshua shot to his feet immediately with an exclamation of, "Mr Lightwood!" He walked round the desk and started to make his way to Alec just as his colleague answered the phone and started chatting away.

"May I talk to you for just a moment please?" He asked Alec, being polite as an old couple walked past them.

"Um, sure, okay," Alec replied, slightly startled. As far as he knew, he had never been close to Joshua - surely Magnus would have told him if they'd been friends? - so he didn't understand why he'd want to speak to him. He followed as Joshua led him into a small office and closed the door behind them, leaving them alone in the room.

Joshua leaned against the desk whilst Alec stayed stood by the door, and they were silent for a moment. Joshua crossed his arms across his chest and was the first to speak. "Alec," he said, all formalities now seemingly gone. "I just... I need to know the truth. Have you really lost your memories or are you just saying that so you can still be with Magnus?"

Alec blinked repeatedly, a frown on his face. "Why would I not be with Magnus? I don't understand."

Joshua sighed. "Never mind. I guess that answers my question. But Alec, I need you to know that when your memory does come back to you - if it ever does, of course - I'll still be here if you wa- need me," he corrected himself quickly. He turned around to face the desk and tore off a bit of paper from a sheet, picking up a pencil and writing something on it.

"What are you doing?" Alec asked.

Joshua turned around and walked over to Alec, standing just a step away from him. "Here." He held the piece of paper out and Alec took hold of it, their fingers brushing against each other as they did so. Joshua seemed to leave his fingers lingering against Alec's longer than necessary, so Alec moved his hand away and looked up into Joshua's eyes. They were green, beautiful. Alec had always found green eyes most beautiful of all, and he had to admit that Joshua's were a lovely forest green colour, completely different to Magnus' bright green that had a tint of gold to them- of course he found Magnus' most beautiful though. Realising he had been staring into Joshua's eyes intensely, he quickly looked away, down at the paper in his hand.

"It's my new phone number," said Joshua. "Keep it, save it into your phone or whatever. I'd just prefer to know that you have it, if you ever need anything, don't hesitate to call me, okay?"

"Yeah sure," Alec replied, opening the door behind him. "Um, sorry Joshua, but I need to get up to the apartment, we're expecting a guest."

"Okay," he said as they stepped out of the room. Joshua followed Alec over to the elevator; Alec put the piece of paper in his jeans back pocket, doubting he would ever have the need to call the number. Thankfully, the elevator doors opened as soon as he pressed the button and he was quick to get inside, eager to get away from this awkward conversation with Joshua.

* * *

Magnus clucked his tongue in his mouth out of habit as he looked around the living room, making sure that it was completely spotless. Magnus was far from being a neat freak, he actually didn't mind if things were messy, but he knew that Alec would want things to be clean so they could make a good impression on Elias.

When he was satisfied that everything was perfect, he smiled and fell onto the sofa, letting out a long and relaxed breath. The smile grew on his face when the front door opened and shut and a moment later, Alec walked into the room.

In his hands were a few shopping bags which he put on the coffee table before slouching down next to Magnus. "Did you get that new book you wanted, then?"

"Yeah, and six more," Alec grinned. "I couldn't resist. When I was younger, five years ago or so I guess, I rarely ever had enough money for one book, let alone seven. I could get used to having so much money."

"That's what you get for being a worldwide best-selling author," Magnus said; he was unbelievably proud of Alec, he had been his number one fan since day one, and that was evident in his voice. "You deserve all the money you have."

"Thank you," Alec said softly, smiling back at him. "Magnus, you know that hotel employee, Joshua? Where he and I ever friends?"

Magnus' smile fell from his face and he froze. Were Alec's memories coming back to him? Was he going to lose Alec like he did in his nightmares? All this time, he had hated Joshua but was grateful to him for not telling Alec what he knew, but had Alec finally found out? His heart was pounding in his chest as he slowly asked, "why do you ask?"

"Joshua approached me downstairs," Alec explained. "He gave me his phone number and said I could call him if I ever needed anything. I don't know, I guess from the way he spoke to me, it sounded like we were friends."

Magnus knew not to lie to Alec, not about another thing, so what he said was the truth, although he was keeping a large part of it secret. "You weren't exactly close friends," he said. "But after we had an argument once, you talked to him about it and he was there for you. I guess today he just meant that he'd be there to listen to you if you ever need anything again," he shrugged, trying to make it sound casual and normal.

"Oh, well that's a nice thing for him to do."

"Oh yeah, Joshua's such a lovely guy," Magnus replied sarcastically and bitterly. Before Alec could ask him what that meant, Magnus was saved by the front door slamming shut. "Max is here."

Alec and Magnus both stood up and watched as Max walked into the living room with a boy beside him. Elias was a head taller than Max with a slim, lean body, and had dark brown skin with big brown eyes and soft-looking, curly dark hair. He smiled nervously, a crooked smile, and said, "hey, I'm Elias." He offered his hand in front of him.

Alec stepped forward and shook his hand. "I'm Alec Lightwood, Max's brother."

"I can tell," Elias replied, his voice deep and hypnotizing. "He looks a lot like you." He looked past Alec at Magnus. "You're Magnus Bane."

"I am," Magnus nodded, stepping forward to stand next to Alec. "I presume Max told you all about me. I'm fabulous, how could he not?" He grinned.

Elias laughed. "Well yeah, he's told me about you, but I already knew who you were. I've been dancing at your studio for three years now."

"Oh wow, really? Max never mentioned that," Magnus said. "What classes do you take? You're in senior classes, yeah? I tend to only teach the younger ones, although on occasion I teach older classes. I've actually started planning to teach some more senior classes soon, actually."

"That would be awesome. You've never taught any of my lessons, but it'd be great if you did. I've dabbled in all the different genres of dance since I was little, to find out which I was best at, but I mainly only do ballet and tap these days."

"That's cool, I've heard really good things about the senior ballet classes from your instructors," Magnus said honestly. "Why don't we all sit down? Would you like anything to drink, Elias?"

"No thank you," he said politely as he and Max sat on one of the black leather sofas, and Alec and Magnus sat on the other. "This is a nice place you have here."

"Thanks," Alec answered. "So, how did you and my brother meet?"

Elias looked at Max and smiled at him, a smile that was full of warmth and obvious heart-warming love. He looked back at Alec. "It's a funny story, actually," he said. "We've been going to school together for years, but never really spoke. Max is quite popular so he hangs around with the popular crowd, whereas I only have a few close friends. A homosexual that dances ballet, is in the school drama club, and only ever gets good grades in all of his classes... Not exactly the type of guy that's popular, am I?" He laughed. "Anyway, this one day I was in the drama room sorting a few boxes out and Max walked in, saying that he had detention and had been told to help me."

"I had no idea what to do with all the costumes and stuff," Max interrupted. "Elias had to explain everything to me, and even then I was still confused."

"I had my back to him at one point," Elias continued with a fond smile on his face. "And I suddenly heard this thud and a moan of pain. I turned around and saw that Max had got his foot wrapped around some fairy lights he'd pulled out of a box, and had fallen flat on his face... His nose was bleeding so I took him to the first aid room and stayed there with him. We started talking just to break the silence, and that's when we realised how much we had common, and it all went from there really."

"What about Max's friends?" Alec asked. "I'm guessing they don't like you."

"No, but I'm used to that," Elias shrugged.

"I hang out with Elias more than my friends now," Max said. "My friends were the reason I kept getting into trouble. Elias is a good influence on me, Alec. My grades have started improving again since we started dating."

Magnus saw Alec purse his lips and tried to stop himself from smiling. It was obvious to him that Alec wanted to like Elias but he was still cautious as to whether or not he was good enough for his little brother.

He had a feeling this was going to be a long afternoon.

* * *

Hours later, Max was finally showing Elias out after Alec had questioned Elias on every little thing about his life and personality. Once Magnus and Alec were alone, Magnus stepped behind Alec and wrapped his arms around his waist, resting his chin on Alec's shoulder.

"You're like some overbearingly protective dad," he teased. "You barely gave him a breather from your questioning."

"Well, someone has to act like that, it's not like my dad's going to," Alec replied with a sneer. "Besides, Max is living with us so we're responsible for him. I needed to make sure that he wasn't hanging around with somebody who'd get him into trouble like those friends of his do."

"Well it was very mature of you," Magnus said. He gently kissed Alec's cheek. "Max knows why you were being so hard on Elias, he understands."

"Yeah, I do," Max said as he came back into the room. "But I don't care if you don't like him, Alec. I'm not going to stop seeing him, you can't stop me."

Alec sighed, but smiled tiredly. "I know, Max. But I'm not going to tell you to stop seeing him, anyway. I like him. He's a bit too chatty for my opinion, but he's nice enough. I think he's good for you."

"Brilliant! Thanks, Alec," Max grinned before happily rushing out of the room, no doubt heading towards his bedroom to text Elias that Alec liked him.

"It's weird that Elias dances at my studio," Magnus said in a playful tone. "I guess being attracted to dancers is a habit for you Lightwood brothers."

"Technically, you're not a dancer, you're a dance teacher," Alec laughed.

"But you have to know how to dance to be able to teach it!" Magnus protested, laughing with him. "What do you wanna do now, then? Watch a movie?"

"Okay," Alec nodded. "On one condition." He stepped out of Magnus' embrace and turned around to face him.

"And what's that?" Magnus prompted.

"We cuddle whilst we watch the movie," Alec said, looking up at Magnus with a shy smile on his face.

"Well, I'm certainly not going to say no to that, am I? You're so adorable, Alexander," he smirked.


	16. Author's Note

So sorry if you thought this was a chapter and was ended up disappointed!

I haven't updated this story for a while and for that I apologize. I also apologize for my next words:

_I am taking a break from writing this story._

I'm just really struggling to write the next chapter. I have an idea of what I want in it, but I just seem unable to write it. I've been trying for a while now to write the next chapter but it's just not happening.

I don't know how long this break will be, I'll try not to make it too long, maybe just a few weeks or so. I guess it just depends on when I get inspiration and the urge to write for this story like I do with my others.

Again, I'm so so sorry.

Charlotte xo


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